- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
First I want to that everyone that responded on my recent thread about my engagement ring troubles. There is an 8 page thread around here somewhere about the whole saga.
If you don’t want to read it, what basically happened was that my Fiance bought me a CZ ring but failed to tell me it was so i found out the hard way when I took it to a jeweler to be resized. He got upset and very defensive when I found out and we had a big fight about it. He then realized his mistake and was wrong and wants me to go with him to pick out a ring. I haven’t been ready to do that until now. And no, things aren’t perfect but we work on our relationship each day. I truly feel he just really messed up.
When I went home a few weeks ago, my mom offered me my grandmother’s diamond. My mom wore it up until a few years ago when my dad bought her a beautiful ring for their 25th anniversary. I am an only child and so is my mom, so there are no other cousins for this diamond to go to. She didn’t offer it to me sooner because she didn’t know we were seriously talking about marriage.
I’ve been looking online at rings and I have to admit, I am a bit shocked at the prices. (We did not look at rings before he bought the first one, and I thought it was bad luck to do so before the right time, so I really haven’t looked until the last few days). Fiance said basically he will get me whatever I want (his words) but I feel just awful asking for a very expensive ring. I asked what he felt comfortable spending and he said $5,000. I’m glad I know the amount as I was falling in love with rings that were costing around $10,000!
My grandmother’s diamond is very pretty. It’s not certified but my mom brought it to a jeweler and he said it’s a 1.23 carat round brilliant, F color and VS2 clarity. I looked up those statistics on Blue Nile and a diamond of similar numbers is upwards of $7,000!
Part of me says to be practical and use her diamond. I think my grandmother would want me to wear it and have it go to use instead of sitting in a jewelry box. I don’t remember her very much and I wish I had more time with her so it is nice to have a part of her with me. Plus, that allows me to spend more on a wedding band or use that money toward other things.
On the other hand, this is HER diamond. It is not part of my relationship with my Fiance. Part of me wants to buy something that’s completely us and has our own history. I don’t want to use her diamond as a right hand ring, as I don’t want it to outshine whatever engagement ring I get.
I did tell Fiance about my grandmother’s diamond. He said he is leaving the decision completely up to me.
I feel kind of materialistic knowing that her diamond is bigger than anything Fiance would get.
What would you do in my situation?