Should I Wait to Propose After Death in Family?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

First and foremost sorry about the death of your SO’s father, regardless of the circumstances. Death is always difficult.

With that being said, I say go for it! It seems like you have put a lot of work into the proposal and making it special for her…she will most certainly appreciate that. Good luck and best wishes!!!

Post # 4
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I would continue on with your proposal as planned. She’s said she wants something happy to happen and this should/could/would make her happy.

Post # 5
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@KyleD:  Have you guys talked about marriage/a proposal yet in your relationship? Just asking because 9 months is a very short amount of time. And if this is a public proposal (and you haven’t talked about your futures together yet) she may be caught off guard and feel pressured to say yes, even if she isnt sure yet… or she may just freeze up which will make the entire thing awkward, for both your relationship, and all the people watching. 

If you have talked about your futures and know this is what you both want… then I say go for it. It may be nice to ask her moms (or other close family members) “blessing” or what they think about it and the timing.

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

@KyleD:  I second pretty much everything LeonardLady said. 9 months is not a long time to be going out before proposing. Lots of people on this forum will tell you that, especially due to your age. However, I say this as someone the same age as you so keep that in mind. If you have not discussed it with her, it could definitely suprise her- and not in a good way.

Also, is she an outgoing, attention loving type? Many girls would hate a public proposal. Obviously you know her better than strangers on the internet, just be sure it is something that won’t freak her out or make her freeze up/stressed. 

 

Perhaps one final thing to consider- as you mentioned, it is a death in the family so it is obviously going to affect more than just her. Are others in her family reacting the same or are they really upset? Although your SO may be fine with getting engaged now, she may be disappointed if others don’t share in her excitement due to grieving. 

Post # 7
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@KyleD:  I say do it but ONLY if you’ve talked marriage before and you know she feel awkward in front of other people. As long as you’re pretty sure you’ll get a genuine ‘yes’ and she won’t mind being the center of attention for a while, go for it!

Post # 8
Member
251 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t wait. This could be a positive thing as it could shed some light on an otherwise dark time. Go for it! (and let us know how it turns out!)

Post # 9
Member
2535 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think to go ahead with it! It will give her some more mixed emotion but it will be good!

If its a week after/ before the funeral as well.. when is that happening?

Post # 10
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@KyleD:  Im gonna say do it! You have a perfect opportunity to make it special. Shes already stated that she wants something to lift her spirits and I’m sure this will do the trick. I like the idea,

Post # 11
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@KyleD:  I would say postpone but only because you are only 22 and been dating 9 months. You dont really know each other and are still high on Falling In Love hormones. 

Post # 12
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

@KyleD:  I’m goign to go with DO IT! I know a family death is a major thing but you mentioned her saying she needs something happy in her life, I think she’d be very happy to get proposed to. 

If family is an issue, she can hold off from telling relatives until she deems appropriate.

Post # 13
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d go for it. It’s always sad when someone dies but I doubt anyone is going to feel like you disrespected this obviously extremely lovely man by proposing. 

Good Luck! Sounds fun!

Post # 14
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Wow, that’s a toughie.  I’m sorry you’re in that predicament!  I’d suggest waiting…8 years lol.  22 seems very young to get married!  I’m with @koikove  But that’s just me Tongue Out 

Post # 15
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

OP didn’t ask if people thought he was too young to get married so I don’t know why people are giving opinions on that topic. I think you should go through with your idea. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@KyleD:  

Your idea is great and you should go forward with it.

22 is not too young to be married as long as you are mature and you place each other first. Good luck!

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