(Closed) should I wait

posted 5 years ago in Babies
  • poll: when should we start trying
    star right away, by the end of 2013 : (8 votes)
    15 %
    by spring 2014 : (8 votes)
    15 %
    by summer 2014 : (7 votes)
    13 %
    one year, fall 2014 : (31 votes)
    57 %
  • Post # 3
    598 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 1993

    Babies are a HUGE commitment They take a LOT of your time and resources.  You need to make sure this is something you want so you don’t resent it later.  

    Post # 4
    1423 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    You have an excellent reason to wait — you are on the fence and not fully committed to having a baby just yet.  So wait.  Once you do it you can’t take it back.  You have plenty of time in which to have a kid. 

    My husband and I got married when I was 27 and we’d been together for 8 years.  We still haven’t taken the plunge on getting pregnant — I have no regrets on that front.  We’ve had a great time these past (almost) four years.  I’m getting to the point where I’m dying to have a kid and will be absolutely thrilled to TTC, as opposed to scared shitless.  But then, I am super slow to commit.  I was still scared shitless to get married, after 8 years and 6 of them living together.  So who knows if I am one to talk. 


    Post # 5
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Waaait until you’re ready. You absolutely have time. Enjoy being married for awhile. Start trying when you are ready and not before 🙂 If he pushes you and you get pregnant you may be resentful.

    Post # 6
    6702 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Baby boy 12/2015

    I get what you are saying, but my situation is a bit different. My husband is leaving it up to  me whenever I am ready to have babies. I am 28 and he is 31, and I am still not ready for some reason. I am at school and waiting to finish with that. I would not have babies just because, and your are both young and. My suggestion would be that you wait until your are both ready. How big of a family are planning to have? 

    Post # 7
    2954 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    You need to be ready. Enjoy some newlywed time first:)


    Post # 8
    2227 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    If you’re not on board, take your time. It’s not a decision that should be made unless you’re 100% sure. So I say wait until you feel confident about it. In the meanwhile, take some time to think of what’s holding your back.

    Darling Husband needed convincing because he knew he wanted kids but was worried he wouldn’t know what to do! I assured him nobody does and we’d get through it together; We’re TTC next month 🙂

    Post # 9
    1564 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Definitely wait. You both have to be ready for the responsibility of parenting! 

    Post # 10
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Coming from someone who dated for 9 years before getting married, it still feels different being married.  Take some time (I’d suggest a full year, but play it by ear and see how you feel as time goes on) to enjoy that feeling, because once you have a kid it’ll never be just the 2 of you again.  Not even 18 years, I know 30 year olds who still live with their folks.

    Post # 11
    4583 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Take some time, there’s no rush. We got married in the fall of 2011, planned to wait a year but actually started trying in the summer of 2012. So I voted wait for summer, at the earliest. Enjoy being married.

    Post # 12
    5405 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I didn’t vote because I don’t think this is the kind of decision to have Internet strangers vote on. Have kids only when you’re ready for them, and 100% confident it’s what you want. They’re not returnable lol 😉

    Post # 13
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    wait. wait as long as you can haha!

    Post # 14
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @mrg1005:  Don’t do it! a child is a huge commintment and not to be taken just by default.

    Unless you are 100% convinced you want to commit emotionally, financially to not be a priority in your own life for the next 20 years or more  leave it.

    Just think how terrible it would be to have a baby and then regrett it!

    I didn’t vote on the poll because I don’t think you can time when you will feel ready.

    You can’t set a date on wanting to become a mother and I think trying for a kid without convincement is a recipe for disaster.

    You’re in no hurry biologically speaking so just wait, if it’s meant to happen you will get that urge otherwise it just wasn’t meant to be.

    Let’s face it there is no shortage of people in the world (quite the opposite there are too many) so you shouldn’t do it unless you are sure it’s what you want.


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