Post # 1
It’s not my style or what I envisioned, but it’s not so drastic a look anyhow. I’m not sure if I should be picky about my look, or if I should prioritize family bonding.
The offer is from my dad’s cousin – basically an “aunt” as she has spent all holidays with us (well anythig with my dad’s side of the family) for many years now – since we were the closets living relatives of hers. She has other cousins too but we’re the stand in “family unit” and I’m the only “young” girl of my generation. Was just me for many years until my twin boy cousins were born when I was already 22! I edited to add this info to show that she’s one of my closer relatives – though I live X-country from everyone now and only see everyone on holidays.
She offered over email before I had picked my dress and before I knew what I was doing – I asked if she had any pictures, so she sent me some in the mail and I just got them. Wow, generational differences already! I take for grated people just having photos on their computers ready to send in an email.
The veil is a very simple, elbow or fingertip length veil with thin satin trim. I cannot tell wether or not you can put the veil in front of your face.
I wasn’t sure I was even going to use one, but once I picked my dress I knew I’d want a sheer drop veil with no trim at all, knee length or chapel length.
The veil being offered for me to borrow is a simple gathered, elbow or fingertip length veil with thin satin trim. I cannot tell wether or not you can put the veil in front of your face. It’s not vintage or anything, she got married close to 10 years ago.
I’m not sure what is the right call here!
Post # 3
It doesn’t sound like that’s what you want. I doubt her feelings will be too hurt since you guys aren’t super close. Just tell her it doesn’t work with your dress.
Post # 4
Yeah, it’s not what I’m really going for, BUT I definitely want to take her into consideration because though we don’t chat all the time, she is one of my closer relatives.
I don’t know if she only offered out of feeling obligated, since my mom didn’t have a veil and not sure where my grandma’s is. Or, probably just out of kindness.
The whole point of this wedding for us is to have family there and have it be a warm and loving event for everyone. I don’t want to slip into being inconsiderate and thinking so “me me me”. It’s easy to do when having to make so many decisions based on nothing else but my own preferences. This is why i’m flip flopping!
Post # 5
I would be in a difficult position too. Family is very important and symbolic to me, and I would feel almost a sense of obligation to wear what a family member has given me.
Ever have those things which you got from your mom/dad/brother/aunt/uncle like 15 years ago, that is completely useless now, takes up space and is unnecessary? But yet you don’t want to let it go, because you have some memories attached to it, or you feel guilty? Yeah, like that.
Is there any way you can play with this veil, maybe by altering it to your liking? Maybe adding a lace border around it for a more fancy/personal feeling?
If you completely don’t want to wear it, do a compromise. Instead of compltely rejecting it, do something with it. Take it to a fabric shop and have a seamstress repurpose it into a sash, or part of a headband, something that you can wear along with your dress!
I also came across these articles, which repurpose old veils and make them functional for today’s brides
Post # 6
@Arganique: Yep, you do seem to understand! I believe the offer is for me to borrow the veil, so cutting and repurposing would not be an option, but these are some great ideas I might be able to use with any other heirlooms or sentimental fabrics. Thank you!
Post # 7
@lazy: ohh, im sorry i didnt know it would be a ‘borrowed’ item! yes, in that case repurposing would not be appropriate!