(Closed) Should I wear my ring?

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Captain013:  Tricky, tricky.  I would at least mention that you need two days off for whatever reason you may want to give.  Everyone has their own opinion about this topic though.  I went to my job interview with my ring on and honestly, no one noticed.  My own director was shocked when I told her I was going to take two weeks off in October for my honeymoon.  Her response was “I didn’t even know you were getting married!!”  Hah.  I think some people tend to overlook certain things.

Post # 4
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.

I also work in a mostly male indusry. I would not bring up your wedding at all. Perhaps a plain band instead of an engagement ring.

Interesting fact, in he past (50+ years ago) a wedding band was a staple of female professional dress, even if she wasn’t married. I guess they figured it would stop (or slow) her male co-workers from making a pass at her.

 

Post # 5
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Eh, if you are worried about it even a little, I would take it off. No harm done by that, right?

Post # 6
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@Captain013:  I totally understand.  I’m also in a male dominated industry.  I would not wear your ring, and I would not mention needing the time off until AFTER you get an offer.  Of course, if they ask you questions then obviously don’t lie, but I don’t think there’s any need to bring it up.

Post # 7
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was somewhat in the same situation and decided not to wear my engagement ring to my interviews and I referred to my fiance as my boyfriend when I had mentioned him during the interview. If you do get the job, then let them know after that you will be needing to take some time off for your wedding. It would not be adviseable to mention it now before getting a job offer. Just say something AFTER you get the job. I doubt that any job would not give you the time off for your wedding. Good luck and keep us posted! (oh and by the way, I did end up getting a job and I said something to my boss and she said that it will be fine. I was worried over nothing)

Post # 8
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m gonna agree with PPs. Sometimes you’ve gotta play the game. I applied to a job with a religious company and decided to wear my ring because I knew they’d be family oriented. If I were you, I wouldn’t wear your ring, or mention the wedding until after you get the job.

Post # 8
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@meowmix318:  I agree with everything you say, except I wouldn’t refer to the fiance as a boyfriend since that’s not accurate.  

Post # 9
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d say skip the ring if wearing it is one more thing to stress over in an inherently stressful situation.  Especially if you think there’s the potential for discrimination.

I would not offer the fact that you’re getting married. It’s not their business. I don’t know how big this company is, which is part of what affects the laws they operate under, but a good rule of thumb for them is not to ask about marital status. Someone else may have better advice as how to handle it if they do.

As for the PTO, it may not even come up. Where I work, the interview-to-hire process can really lag. The two days you need for the wedding may be before you’d even start working. If they are moving fast and make an offer, go ahead and tell them you have a committment on suchandsuch days and need to be out. (Commitment, wheeee!) You don’t need to tell them why. Others may have different experiences, but my firm prohibits PTO in the first 90 days, so we actually agreed on a start date that was after an already planned trip.

Finally, knock ’em dead, Captain!

 

Post # 10
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I wouldn’t wear it or mention it.  You can mention that after you get the job.

Post # 11
Member
11354 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Captain013:  It would be illegal for a company to discriminate against you based on marital status.

As a former senior-level manager for many years who has hired many employees, I definitely think you should wear your ring and be very forthright about your wedding plans and need for the two days off within the next month.  Because your wedding is so soon, and you will require two days off without pay, I think you have no choice but to tell them you’re getting married and when. I would tell them that you are available to start work immediately but that your wedding is March ___ and that you would be requesting two days off without pay prior to the wedding. I would tell them that you are not taking a honeymoon and would be available to return to work the Monday following your wedding.  

The HR team and hiring manager would have to respect you for your honesty and forthrightness.  To fail to mention this and not wear your ring may cause someone to have less trust in you if they find out from you on your first day of work that you failed to mention that you needed time off within the first month of your job.

By the way, I would say nothing about your FI or the location of his job, as that has no bearing whatsoever on your ability to perform work for the company for which you are interviewing.

I hope all goes well!

Post # 13
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Captain013:  I would maybe not wear the ring, and def not mention the wedding during the 1st interview

As things get on you could throw that out there—maybe when you are negotiating salary etc., but mentioning it right off the bat on the 1st interview makes it easy for them to rule you out

 

As far as them fearing you moving after the wedding….are you planning to move? If not, then why mention where your fiance works/lives? 

 

If you have a big flashy diamond ring they may feel compelled to ask about it, and that might bring up some prejudices—but if you DO get the job and just show up with the ring one day and spring the impending marriage on them that might seem kind of sneaky

Post # 14
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Brielle:  it may technically illegal, but how would she ever prove in court what the real reason was for her not getting hired??

It’s only 2 days—it’s jumping the gun to mention it before she is offered the job

Post # 15
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i really think that you should wear your ring. in an interview you don’t need to tell them when you’re getting married. IF you get the job, bring it up to your boss after you’ve worked a couple weeks. they should be understanding. 

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