So far, we've had akward situations when it comes to choosing our officiant. At first, it was going to me my FI father, who is ordained, and has performed many ceremonies, including FI's sister a couple years back. Of course we were very happy and proud that he "offered" to do this for his son. Flashforward- a couple of months back he sends FI an email explaining he thought his idea's for the ceremony did not reflect our ideas and that he would much rather enjoy the wedding attending as FI's father and nothing more.
Of course we were very hurt and upset that he backed out , especially because our ceremony is so simple, a greeting to our guests, exchanging our vows (we are writing our own), a prayer, and a reading explaining the releasing or the two doves, and the resessional! Anyhow, FI was very hurt buy this, but we moved on to find another officiant.
So, I have two very close friends who are sisters and will be performing during the reception, singing Green Eyes by Coldplay. Well one of the girls boyfriend is ordained and she heard I was looking, gave me "New Guys" number to give him a call!
We meet up with NG and he is right on board, very understanding and experienced. He wants to meet with us in a couple of weeks just incase we have changed anything, also, we had not yet chosen a prayer reading, so we were to meet up again to give him this! He was also very adimant that we must have a rehearsal with the whole bridal party the day before at the event location! Fine, I was so happy he wanted to be perfect! We would be in touch to meet again!
Ok, well I have Two Weeks till my wedding, and NG has his girlfriend, my friend (remember?) give me a call the other day to schedual a meeting, with HER, to discuss the details of the ceremony. What? Why can't NG meet himself? "He's really busy with school and is writing a paper, but I will be sure to give him all the info he needs!"
What!? Paper? Ok, so confused I schedual a day to meet up with HER. Feeling confused and annoyed I tell my FI the story and start to get upset, why is NG not calling me himself? Its a bit tacky to have his girlfriend do his business, I'm paying him, not her! I'm paying him $300 for basically an hour of his time! Not even that! The ceremony is half an hour at the most, plus he was already going to be attending the wedding with his girlfriend before he was the officiant! Now he is going to the rehearsal dinner as well, so I feel he is being more than compinsated for his time!
So I send my friend a text letting her know I feel its important that we meet with NG himself because he will be the one performing the ceremony and it won't take much of his time! If he is too busy, to please let us know soon so we can move on to another option! Thanking her for her time- Fair right?
She texts me back saying no problem that NG would give me a call the next day. No such luck,,,I even called NG yesterday leaving a nice message that I had the readings to give him and that I also wanted to give him the check as well. Please give me a call to make sure we're on the same page!"
I guess I should call him again today? I know its the weekend, but he is a pshycologist/advisor, working on getting his Phd I guess,,,but the clock is ticking for me, and this is the last thing I really need to worry about! It's really bothering me and I'm starting to stress! His name is on my wedding programs, and its too late to find some else! AGhh!!
As stressful as it all is, I would try not to worry about it too much. Things can get busy for everyone, but I'm sure he'll do a fantastic job. Like you said, he is very keen on rehearsing and it's only 30 minutes. Keep in mind it's a holiday weekend. Give him a chance to call, but if you don't hear from him by Tuesday afternoon/evening try him again. And definitely try to relax. Everything will all work out and you will have a wonderful day
Thanks caitlanc. I was thinking that too. It is a holiday weekend, I don't want to be bridezilla hounding him down on a Sunday! I just need to think positive and know he's in it for the long hual! I'm going to a music festival here at Monterey Bay, so I'm going to attempt some realaxation!
Update! (I know I'm pretty much just posting to myself,,) My officiant just called me! (Yay!) He explained he is really busy to meet up but wanted to assure me that he is still going to do the ceremony. He wants me to give my friend, his girlfriend the reading we wanted to add and he will go over it and get back to me if any questions. Whew! I'm in the clear!! For now,,so far two weeks to go!
Remember that planning a wedding is extremely stressful, especially when you want it to be a perfect day and there are so many people and things involved.
There are times that we just need to sit back and relax for a second and look at our situations through an outside perspective.
As for this situation, I would of felt exactly the same. There isn't much that you can do at this point about these kinds of things, but It's good to know that he called you back.
I do think it is important though for your officiant to speak directly to you, because it shows that he is a personable person who knows that you and your day is very important.
So far, we've had akward situations when it comes to choosing our officiant. At first, it was going to me my FI father, who is ordained, and has performed many ceremonies, including FI's sister a couple years back. Of course we were very happy and proud that he "offered" to do this for his son. Flashforward- a couple of months back he sends FI an email explaining he thought his idea's for the ceremony did not reflect our ideas and that he would much rather enjoy the wedding attending as FI's father and nothing more.
Of course we were very hurt and upset that he backed out , especially because our ceremony is so simple, a greeting to our guests, exchanging our vows (we are writing our own), a prayer, and a reading explaining the releasing or the two doves, and the resessional! Anyhow, FI was very hurt buy this, but we moved on to find another officiant.
So, I have two very close friends who are sisters and will be performing during the reception, singing Green Eyes by Coldplay. Well one of the girls boyfriend is ordained and she heard I was looking, gave me "New Guys" number to give him a call!
We meet up with NG and he is right on board, very understanding and experienced. He wants to meet with us in a couple of weeks just incase we have changed anything, also, we had not yet chosen a prayer reading, so we were to meet up again to give him this! He was also very adimant that we must have a rehearsal with the whole bridal party the day before at the event location! Fine, I was so happy he wanted to be perfect! We would be in touch to meet again!
Ok, well I have Two Weeks till my wedding, and NG has his girlfriend, my friend (remember?) give me a call the other day to schedual a meeting, with HER, to discuss the details of the ceremony. What? Why can't NG meet himself? "He's really busy with school and is writing a paper, but I will be sure to give him all the info he needs!"
What!? Paper? Ok, so confused I schedual a day to meet up with HER. Feeling confused and annoyed I tell my FI the story and start to get upset, why is NG not calling me himself? Its a bit tacky to have his girlfriend do his business, I'm paying him, not her! I'm paying him $300 for basically an hour of his time! Not even that! The ceremony is half an hour at the most, plus he was already going to be attending the wedding with his girlfriend before he was the officiant! Now he is going to the rehearsal dinner as well, so I feel he is being more than compinsated for his time!
So I send my friend a text letting her know I feel its important that we meet with NG himself because he will be the one performing the ceremony and it won't take much of his time! If he is too busy, to please let us know soon so we can move on to another option! Thanking her for her time- Fair right?
She texts me back saying no problem that NG would give me a call the next day. No such luck,,,I even called NG yesterday leaving a nice message that I had the readings to give him and that I also wanted to give him the check as well. Please give me a call to make sure we're on the same page!"
I guess I should call him again today? I know its the weekend, but he is a pshycologist/advisor, working on getting his Phd I guess,,,but the clock is ticking for me, and this is the last thing I really need to worry about! It's really bothering me and I'm starting to stress! His name is on my wedding programs, and its too late to find some else! AGhh!!
posted by danigirlygirl 50 posts 3 months agoAs stressful as it all is, I would try not to worry about it too much. Things can get busy for everyone, but I'm sure he'll do a fantastic job. Like you said, he is very keen on rehearsing and it's only 30 minutes. Keep in mind it's a holiday weekend. Give him a chance to call, but if you don't hear from him by Tuesday afternoon/evening try him again. And definitely try to relax. Everything will all work out and you will have a wonderful day
posted by caitlanc 41 posts 3 months agoThanks caitlanc. I was thinking that too. It is a holiday weekend, I don't want to be bridezilla hounding him down on a Sunday! I just need to think positive and know he's in it for the long hual! I'm going to a music festival here at Monterey Bay, so I'm going to attempt some realaxation!
posted by danigirlygirl 50 posts 3 months agoUpdate! (I know I'm pretty much just posting to myself,,) My officiant just called me! (Yay!) He explained he is really busy to meet up but wanted to assure me that he is still going to do the ceremony. He wants me to give my friend, his girlfriend the reading we wanted to add and he will go over it and get back to me if any questions. Whew! I'm in the clear!! For now,,so far two weeks to go!
posted by danigirlygirl 50 posts 3 months agoDani, good to know.
Remember that planning a wedding is extremely stressful, especially when you want it to be a perfect day and there are so many people and things involved.
There are times that we just need to sit back and relax for a second and look at our situations through an outside perspective.
As for this situation, I would of felt exactly the same. There isn't much that you can do at this point about these kinds of things, but It's good to know that he called you back.
I do think it is important though for your officiant to speak directly to you, because it shows that he is a personable person who knows that you and your day is very important.
posted by mykoreanweddingcom 9 posts 3 months ago