Post # 1
We’re doing a black tie wedding, and the 5 BMs are wearing floor length chiffon dresses. I paid for everyone’s dress, and our deal is that they will pay for their own shoes, but we haven’t decided what to do about the shoes?
a) Pick an affordable matching shoe for everyone to get (or 2 even options, a higher and lower heel)
b) Give a description, 3-5 inch nude patent peep toe with a skinny heel… and let them pick their own?
c) Let them pick their own, but don’t do Nude bc it’s too hard to match – choose gold or black.
It seems that the shoes will hardly be visible, so why not let the girls pick whatever suits them? BUT on the other hand, since we are doing nude… the shades could really vary/clash… I don’t know if that would somehow take away from the elegant “picture” since we are really going to lengths to coordinate EVERYTHING else about the wedding? Should we just keep this detail in sync?
Does anyone have regrets about NOT having coordinating BM shoes?
Post # 3
What color are the bridesmaids’ dresses?
Post # 4
Clashing shades of nude? I say this with kindness, but you are really over thinking things. No one, I promise NO ONE, will notice the bridesmaids’ shoes under long dresses. This is sooo not worth worrying about.
Post # 5
BM dresses are dark jewel toned green. I know clashing nude sounds crazy, but I’ve noticed this I guess since I’m mixed race that like half the “nude” shoes look more creamy pinky white.. like they wouldn’t even look nude on me… and others are more tan (which is my personal shade of “nude”). So also my BMS are varying skin tones. 2 are like ivory, 1 is more olive, and 1 is mixed so more darker olive.
Post # 6
@waitingwonderland: I’d also like to know what color your bridesmaid dresses are.
I haven’t gotten that far in my own wedding planning yet, but I can give an example from a friend’s wedding in which I was a bridesmaid. The dresses she chose for us were floor length lavender gowns. She selected really cute silver sandals with a smaller heel (I think between 1″ – 2″). They worked really well with the dresses (though, to be honest, you really can’t see them very well in any of the pictures), were affordable, and were incredibly comfortable.
I think you can pick something simple but elegant without being matchy matchy. I don’t think you necessarily have to let the girls pick their own shoes either … I didn’t pick mine for that wedding, but I like them so much that I still wear them sometimes when I dress up. (And that’s saying a lot since I’m not really a heels kind of girl!)
Post # 7
@waitingwonderland: Ahhh … I just saw you posted the colors right before I submitted my post.
The dark green could look nice with a black shoe if you’re worried that the nude heels won’t look the way you want.
Post # 8
Given the color of your bridesmaids’ dresses, I would give your maids parameters for a gold, bronze, or silver shoe — whichever metallic color suits your color palette best. You also could go with a black shoe. I would not make them buy the same exact style of shoe.
Post # 9
I’m leaning towards black shoe, but letting them choose their own.
Post # 10
The thing is, no one will see them. My girls wore matching floor length dresses, and I let them wear whatever shoes they wanted. No one noticed, and the girls were all comfortable because most of them wore shoes they’d worn before so they were broken in and comfortable. Plus, my 5’10 MOH wore flats so she didn’t look silly standing next to my 5′ niece, who wore 4 inch heels, but still. It actually made the girls look better in pics because of the height issue (not something I was worried about, but a nice bonus on top of them all being happy about wearing comfortable shoes).
If you’re going to give them any parameters, I’d say just tell them black shoes. If you want everything super coordinated, black is the one color that doesn’t have any real shade issues like gold or nude would, and they’ll probably either have black shoes already or have occasion to wear them again if you let them get a pair they’re comfortable in.
Post # 11
I would just let the girls pick their own shoes. Maybe have them decide on one color, but honestly even if they don’t I don’t think anyone will notice. My girls are wearing long dresses and I told them I really don’t care about the shoes. I’d rather them pick something comfortable that they would wear again.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford
For long dresses, I’m sure it won’t matter much. I vote that you choose some parameters and let them make a decision. However, I had to comment because I agree that shades of nude can vary greatly as well lol. My idea for my girls was that I was going to send them links to a few shoes in the exact shade of whatever-we-end-up-choosing and let them go from there. Less room for error 😛
Post # 13
I had long dresses at mine, and let the girls pick their own but they had to be black. That way they could pick something they are comfortable in, and maybe wear something they already have. Seriously, one of the worst things is a girl who is not comfortable in heels clomping down the aisle looking like she is going to go over at any minute.
Post # 14
Let them pick their own. I dread the day anyone tells me a specific shoe I HAVE to wear. I have very difficult feet and most shoes aren’t comfortable for me, so I would absolutely hate for someone to tell me I have to wear a specific one. I think it is fine to say a nude heel, etc and let them find one on their own