Post # 1
Okay, so here is the dilemma. I really don’t like the girl. She is an 18 year old, spoiled brat who is a total smartass. I pray that she will change as she gets older, but as of now I am forced to bite my tungue every time I am around her. She is my FI’s only sibiling and I feel that my future in-laws would be offended if I did not make her one of the bridesmaids. I really don’t want to, but I’m not sure how to get out of it. Thoughts?
Post # 3
You are not obligated to ask her.
Post # 4
@Future_Mrs_Riley: Big fat no!
It’s normal for the bride to choose the bridesmaids (her friends) and the groom to choose the groomsmen. If you have brothers who aren’t groomsmen, it will be obvious that you’re not singling out her. Besides, by the sounds of it, I doubt she wants to be a bridesmaid for you anyway.
You could ask her to do a reading if you feel you must include her somehow.
Post # 5
You FI could ask her to be a groomswoman but no you should ask who you want to be your BM’s.
Post # 6
I was in a similar situation, and I did ask. Wish I hadn’t. She made more drama for me than the rest of my bridesmaids combined, and let’s face it: you don’t need more stress right before the big day.
You’ll have the rest of your life to get to know her (and for her to mature). Just explain you were limited on space and wanted to honor people who were helping a lot with the wedding, it was nothing personal and you’re still excited to be her sister (haha hopefully).
Post # 7
Thank you all for your advice! All of my friends have beed telling me similar things, but my mom has told me that it would be best for me to keep the peace. My FI has told me that it would be my decision, and really hasn’t had muct to say on the matter. Im just torn as to what to do. She is just such an unpleasant person! haha
Post # 8
@Future_Mrs_Riley: I’m letting FI decide if he wants her to be a bridesmaid or not. They don’t have the best relationship, so I told him that if he doesn’t feel comfortable having her in the wedding party, then I wouldn’t ask. If he wanted to have her there, though, I had no problem involving her. Vice Versa, I asked him to make my brother a groomsman as he and I do have a good relationship and I wanted him to have a role in our wedding.
Post # 9
@Future_Mrs_Riley: I agree with @paula1248: in that if you do want her to be involved in some way, to keep the peace with the in-laws, then maybe she could do a reading or something.
I saw your thread title and thought we’d be in a similar situation (my fiance has sisters) but I guess not! I’ve decided to have his sisters (along with mine) as my bridesmaids, not only for the fact that he is their only brother but because I love them as well. I’m sorry your fiance’s sister is a brat and hope it all works out ok!
I suppose if you have a lot of bridesmaids lined up already it may be easier to say no if the in-laws say something…
Post # 10
It depends. I was like that with his sister, but felt obligated to include her after my fiance asked my brother (he has disabilities so I was super touched). However, since being asked, she has warmed up to me, and we’ve hung out and actually became friends. It was a win-win for me… but I might have gotten lucky
Post # 11
I think all siblings should be included in bridal parties, and when they aren’t, people talk.
Post # 12
I would ask her. You may not like her but she’s going to be your sister soon. If your FI and your family want her to be a part I think it’s the best decision. Like a PP said, maybe it will make you closer.
Post # 13
@Future_Mrs_Riley: Nope. My SIL was a big pain in the ass until our wedding day. Almost wasn’t even worth the 5 months of continuous disagreements and jackassery on her part.
Post # 14
Your bridal party should consist of the people closest to you, not your future in-laws. If you are close to her, then ask, but otherwise, she’s just a guest like any other guest.
Post # 15
If it common in your families to include her and it will be seen more as an insult then I would include her. I am not that close with mine and included her, and have no regrets. I would hate to make my ILs feel snubbed over something that in the scheme of things isn’t that big of a deal.
Post # 16
@Future_Mrs_Riley: I would go the route of “you didnt want to be a financial burden for her”
If it comes up, remind them that she does not have the resources to pay for your shower, bach party, or her dress.