Should my husband attend a classmates wedding even though I was not invited?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should my husband attend a wedding even though I was not invited?
    Yes : (152 votes)
    63 %
    No : (89 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I agree it’s weird not to invite you both but he may have limited numbers. I don’t think this should stop your husband from going though 

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  londonchick.
    Post # 3
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Think of it this way, not everyone can afford to invite a couple (especially if they don’t know the SO) due to space limitation. So how would your hubby have felt if he didn’t get an invite at all just because the groom knew he couldn’t afford tto invite you, probably a bit miffed that the other group members  got invited but not him I would like to think. 

    Is it weird u didn’t get invited in my humble opinion( and it’s just my opinion) no I don’t think it is.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee

    You are married, not conjoined twins. Why can’t your husband attend the wedding on his own? I think the couple has the right to invite guests as they wish. If they have a budget that they would like to stick to, you should respect that. The wedding is about them, not you. No need to think that the couple is being rude. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Do you even know this guy? If he doesn’t know you he’s going to be less inclined to invite you if he has an issue with numbers. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    See, this is the problem with so many people. They think that they can just be rude and as long as people understand why they are being rude, then it is okay. Wrong. This couple is being rude and that’s that. You can always afford to invite spouses/social units. You just have to cut down on the list to accomodate the spouses of the people you already invited/really absolutely want there. Basically this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. Not sorry if that offends people. Your husband should not go. He should respectfully decline, and stop talking about why he isn’t going. It is no one’s business but his own. A simple “Sorry, I can’t make it that day.” is enough. Sure, this guy wanted to include his classmates, but he is not being respectful of his guests and that is enough to make me not want to attend.

    Post # 7
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    “Come celebrate my marriage (and give us a present for it), but I won’t even bother to acknowledge yours!”

     

    Yep, that’s rude.

    Post # 8
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Monkey786:  HELL NO! No way in the damn world! My FI was invited to a wedding by a mutual friend of ours, who goes to my church, but he didn’t invite me. I said hell no you are not going without me, and they are no longer invited to our wedding. Like you said, it’s a social unit, you take us both or not at all. Sorry. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    londonchick:  he shouldn’t have invited her husband then. Sorry but I feel strongly about this. A husband and wife don’t have to do everything together, they can have their own friends, but they should be respected enough to be invited as a married couple to something as important as a wedding. I wouldn’t go without my FI and he wouldn’t go without me. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Baybeejulia:   The key words in your post are ‘mutual friend’ I f this guy doesn’t know OP and is struggling with numbers, is it that bad she’s not invited? It’s difficult to accommodate friends and family and plus ones are going to be more of a priority for close friends and family. i agree it’s nice to try and keep couples together and that’s what we did when we planned our wedding, but something has to give sometimes. Is it the end of the world if her hubs goes somewhere without her ever now  and then?   i find it interesting this mutual friend cut you out. Maybe they do not like you?

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  londonchick.
    Post # 11
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    londonchick:  It’s not so much a mutual friend, I am from an Egyptian church where the culture is essentially invite everyone from church that you can afford to, even if you don’t consider them a friend. So my FI and I aren’t really friends with him but we attend the same church and are from the same community. Don’t even have each others Mobile numbers. But Yea, he invited my FI and not me which I think is completely rude. 

    I agree it’s financially difficult to invite everyone plus their plus ones, that is why short term boyfriends or girlfriends shouldn’t always be invited. But married, De facto or long term spouses should always be invited in my opinion. When I wrote out my guest list I made sure partners were invited, and would cut back elsewhere if needed. To me that is proper etiquette. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee

    What is proper etiquette to you isn’t necessarily proper etiquette to them. Only your husband can make the choice in this situation, and in my eyes it comes down to — which is more important, your husband’s friend’s wedding, or you two making a point?

    Post # 13
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Baybeejulia:  

    isn’t the ‘specialness’ of a wedding relative to the extent of your relationship with the couple? i don’t really know my husband’s work colleagues, if one of them of them were to get married and only invite all of his work colleagues but not their spouses would I demand he doesn’t go?! Of course not because I have no relationship with this person and would not really care if he went without me.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    1826 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    They probably had the choice of inviting all of the group without SOs or none of the group. I see nothing wrong with him wanting his friends there to celebrate with him. It would have been nice if you were invited butnot necessary especially since the group all know each other and will most likely all be seated together.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  .
    Post # 15
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee

    It’s pretty rude to snub partners, but he should go if he wants to and not if he doesn’t want to. I think my fiance is invited to a wedding this summer without me and I think it’s pretty rude but whatever, he can go catch up with friends he hasn’t seen for a while and I don’t have to waste time making boring small talk!

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors