Post # 1
My boyfriend (should be fiancé by graduation, assuming the ring arrives in time) is graduating next month with his second bachelor’s degree. The graduation is going to be massive and lengthy, and it’s being held in a football stadium in the Texas heat. When my parents, who live in the same college town we do, were asking about when he graduates, they asked, “Do we need to go to his graduation ceremony?”
Should they go? Both of them have chronic pain, one extremely severe and one more moderate, and I know sitting in the stands in a football stadium in the Texas heat would not be a pleasant experience. I think they would probably go if I request that they do, as they do like my SO, of course. It’s just that sitting through graduation ceremonies is long and boring, and the location definitely makes it a little worse here.
Post # 2
I don’t think they need to go. They can definitely show their congratulations and support in other ways!
Post # 3
littlemogwai : I think given the circumstances of a chronic pain problem, your SO would understand them not being there. Perhaps they can treat him to a nice dinner after?
Post # 4
No I don’t think they need to go at all. I can’t imagine my parents even thinking about SO’s graduation, lol. That’s more for his family. I’m not even going.
Post # 5
I think that this depends entirely upon how important it is to your SO that they’re there. If they’re really close and it’s a big deal to him that they come, it might be worth it to push them. If he doesn’t care and they don’t seem to want to come, I wouldn’t force it. Especially considering that it might be actually painful for them as opposed to just boring. You can always plan a nice dinner for them to attend afterwards to celebrate.
Post # 6
Nope. My in-laws didn’t go to my graduation even though they live in town and I wouldn’t have expected them to at all. And considering that both of them suffer from chronic pain I think it would be inconsiderate of you or your boyfriend to ask them to. They could always go to dinner or something to celebrate later if you/they wanted to.
Post # 7
littlemogwai : As a fellow Texan, I’d advise against it! Just get a good picture with the graduate :). I suspect your boyfriend and my FI have the same alma mater 😉
Post # 9
I don’t think they need to go. Even if your SO wanted them there they have a pretty valid excuse with chronic pain and Texas heat! I’m sure he’ll understand 🙂
Post # 10
Agreed with the PPs. As long as your soon to be FI is ok with it, no need for them to go. I would make sure they are invited/attend to any post graduation festivities tho.
Post # 11
I think everyone’s family is different. My parents didn’t attend DH’s graduation because he and I were living about 12 hours away where we were in college at. Had we been local or within a reasonable distance I’m sure they would have gone.
I would think your boyfriend knows your parents well, and knows of their physical limitations? If so he should completely understand if they don’t attend. Will there be any sort of lunch or celebration afterwards? If so, if they feel like they want to offer their congrats they can meet you guys afterwards.
Post # 12
No. most colleges I know cap the tickets per graduate anyways. They can give him a card or take him out to dinner or something to celebrate. actually attending the ceremony isn’t necessary.
Post # 13
littlemogwai : I wouldn’t even request my own parents to attend my graduation, if it was long and uncomfortable and they had chronic pain issues.
Post # 14
Graduations can be torturous for people who DON’T have health issues. So, given your parents’ situation they really shouldn’t feel obligated to attend. A nice card or a small gift (if their finances permit) should be more than enough.
Post # 15
WestCoastV : lol true my husband FELL ASLEEP during my graduation!