(Closed) Should # of people in party attending a wedding affect the value of gift?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is the size of your wedding gift influenced by the number of people in your party?
    Yes : (30 votes)
    63 %
    No : (11 votes)
    23 %
    Depends : (7 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Ok for me there is 2 parts to this. First it does not matter what my financial situation is or if I’m married w/kids or not; I give what I can give within our budget and depending on how close I am to the couple. Now, I’ve been to a couple Destination Wedding and I will say I scaled back on the gift bc there are travel expenses involved with Destination Wedding. I couldn’t do it all; airfare, hotel, food, attire and an expensive gift. However my friends were extremely gracious with whatever anyone gave them so it wasn’t an issue.

    Post # 4
    4804 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Okay so I might be totally wrong in doing this, but I usually give the same value of gift whether I go alone or with Fiance.  I think it’s because it’s what I can afford and we’re both paying for it anyways…

    Post # 5
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I gift based on what I can afford and how well I know the couple.

    Post # 6
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If I were invited without a guest, I’d give a certain amount.

    If I were invited and my Fiance were invited as well, I’d give a bit more whether Fiance actually goes or not.

    If Fiance and I, and our hypothetical children were invited also, I’d give even a little more.

    All of this also varies with how close I am to the couple and if it were a Destination Wedding I probably couldn’t give as much as I normally would.

    Post # 7
    5758 posts
    Bee Keeper

    When my kids were younger and came with us to a wedding (in those days,all were local), we always gave more when they were with us. So yes, I’d expect that most people would also feel the same.

    My sister is STILL anoyed at her BIL & SIL who came to her daughter’s wedding and gave $50. from 6 of them! (that was 8 years ago.) People never forget!

    Post # 8
    12 posts
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I was always told to give a gift equivalent to what they are paying for you to attend.

    Post # 9
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I usually guage my gift based roughly on what my plate is costing the couple, within the limits of my budget.  I know this is a cultural thing and I don’t expect all of our guests to do this. I would be annoyed if they tacked on uninvited +1s and gave a really small gift or didn’t bring a gift at all.  I’d feel taken advantage of then.

    It goes sort of like this – I have an ammount in mind that I would want to give the couple as a minimum based on my relationship with them and the fact that it’s a wedding.  I check this amount against the cost of the average/reasonable plate at their reception site and adjust up (still staying within my budget) if the reception place is fancier and I know dinner there would cost a little more.  I also adjust up if I’m bringing a date, becauase then it’s two dinners.  I give 1.5-2x (depending on what I can afford) for two. I don’t adjust down for any reason – having a backyard wedding is not a reason to get a smaller gift from me.

    Post # 10
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Sorry to say this…but if it’s a Destination Wedding and I’m paying alot extra for travel, I’ll generally give a smaller gift.

    Post # 11
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I don’t give according to how many people I’m bringing (which is usually my husband and I). We give the same monetary amount for any wedding. We usually don’t give cash/checks but a gift that is around the same amount each time. It more has to do with what we can afford than what the “etiquette” is for a wedding gift. I think etiquette tells us to give more than $25 worth of gifts… but we can’t afford that, so sorry.

    Post # 12
    2386 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If I’m attending the wedding, I give based on the number of people in my patarty. I give less when I go on my own compared to when Darling Husband comes with me. My mom always told me about $100/person so that is my basic guideline. If I’m close to the couple I’ll up that figure.

    That being said, I had a Destination Wedding and we let it be known that we didn’t want people attending to give us wedding gifts. We told them that their presence was a good enough gift. I felt too bad having them pay for an expensive trip and have to give a gift on top of that.

    Post # 13
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    The two are completely unrelated. Spend what you want and are able to without going broke (or unable to pay other living expenses), based on how close you are to the couple. Other factors are absolutely irrelevant.

    The topic ‘Should # of people in party attending a wedding affect the value of gift?’ is closed to new replies.

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