Should she pay for it?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It would have been polite for her to offer to reimburse you for the cake.

It would not be polite for you to ask her to do so.

Post # 4
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

That sucks. But things happen, accidents happen, children will be children. Let it go and cut your loses. It’s done and over with. Move on.  It was food, not a precious piece of glass.

Post # 5
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow.  If one of my children had done that, I’d have left to replace the cake as best as I could immediately AND offer to compensate for it.  The fact that she laughed it off is despicable.  

 

You can say something to her, but she obviously doesn’t care to take responsibility for her child, so I doubt she’s going to do anything. 

Post # 6
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Carlasgettingmarried:  Kids do things like this. It’s a real shame that she didn’t leave the little one at home, and I would be upset.

However, I don’t think that makes it right to call her and ask for the money. That is equally appalling to me.

Post # 7
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Accidents happen. You can’t ask for the money. 

Post # 9
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

She was probably embarrassed. I know it is wrong ur these things happen, let it go. 

Post # 10
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

@Carlasgettingmarried:  What do you want to do, vent to the mother and demand an apology?  Sorry, but some people can be rude.  Just let it go, get over it and move on. Don’t get frustrated and upset over some other adults stupidity and rudeness.

Post # 11
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Yeah, I agree with the other posters.  It sucks that this happened, but if it really was an expensive cake, I don’t see how you can ask her to pay for it.  Well you can, but she can also say no.  If it were something other than food, I’d probably feel differently about it.

I don’t know all your financial situations, but $15 is not much money to me.  Can you all pitch in for a new cake and present it to her when there’s not a child around to ruin it?  Maybe at the bachelorette party?

Post # 12
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

She should have offered, but I really don’t know how you would go about asking for reimbursment.

Post # 13
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I totally agree with you that it is not acceptable. Do accidents happen? Yes. But is a child likely to smash himself into a cake at a party if his mother is keeping a responsible eye on him? No. When a child is at an adult event he or she should be closely monitored by an adult, not allowed to roam and run wherever. The child should be learning not to touch things without permission, but at the very least a parent should make sure their child is keeping their hands to themselves and not touching food (like the kid who touches every cookie before choosing one). I don’t think you should call and ask for money but it definitely would have been polite for that mother to offer compensation, or at the very least an apology. 

Post # 14
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

The toddler shouldn’t have been there in the first place BUT you can’t ask her for the money. It would be polite of her to offer it but if she doesn’t that’s on her.

Post # 15
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

OMG this makes me so mad.

How close are you with this woman?

Post # 16
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Carlasgettingmarried:  You’re right. It’s horrible that she didnt keep control of her child. It’s horrible that she laughed it off and didn’t apologize. It’s pretty annoying that she didn’t offer to pay for the damage. And it really REALLY sucks that your awesome surprise was ruined. 

All that said, two wrongs don’t make a right. You can’t call and demand an apology. She is a selfish, irresponsible person. There’s not much you can do about that other than stop inviting her and her crazy child to parties. 

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