Post # 1
My dad decided to leave my stepmom about a week ago. My wedding is in 6 days. Based on years of him saying he would leave her, and knowing them, this will likely end in divorce. He moved out. However, it’s not final and they’re going to try counseling (appointment is tonight! Crossing fingers!). For background, stepmom has been in my life for 15 years and I love her. The negatives are that 1) this is going on and 2) she was my mom’s best friend before becoming stepmom. That’s a whole ‘nother can of worms 🙂
At first when this started going down they told me put them (Dad/SM) at separate tables. Now they say they’ll be fine and act like adults so ok to sit at the same table.
My question is actually about the family pictures. First of all, should SM be in all or some of the family photos after the ceremony? FI doesn’t want her there in case they divorce right after the wedding, but she is important to me.
Second, what about for pictures of my family? How do you do it with divorced parents? Would it be really weird to have a picture of me and my actual parents?
Post # 3
Is she a person who has been important in your life? If so, then yes she belongs in the pictures.
“FI doesn’t want her there in case they divorce right after the wedding, but she is important to me.”
That seems kind of callous on his part. This isn’t a woman your father has been dating for 5 minutes, she’s been in your life for 15 years.
Post # 4
Get the pictures you want. It’s not about what might be “weird” – it’s about what you want to see when you look back at them after the wedding.
Post # 5
I have kind of a difficult situation similar to yours, although my SM is still with my dad. I think you need to think about what type of relationship you and her will have if they do not get bakc together and work things out. If you feel like she will still be in your life and have a meaningful relationship I would have her in some of the pictures. I would have some with you, dad, SM and others with you dad mom,etc.
I would worry if you didn’t get pictures with all of them in some way that you would look back and regret it. If you look back at the last 15 years she probally had a pretty big influence in who you are today and supported you a lot along the way. They can be adults and suck it up for one day, or rather a few hours of one day. If you are put in an uncomfortable position day of you can always just get a few pictures of just you and her as well!
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I don’t think a pic of you and your 2 parents is weird at all. My husband’s parents are split; so we basically did 3 sets of photos– 1 set with each parent, and 1 set with them together.
I would recommend you do 4 sets for your wedding– Mom & Dad, just Mom (& date if she has one), just Dad, and Dad & StepMom. That way, you have pictures of everyone, but if the split is final, you can still have pics with just your dad, and some with you StepMom too; one thing to remind your FI is that even if they split– this woman is a part of your life, she wont just evaporate if the divorce is finalized.