Should we be guilt-tripped for not going to this?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@QueenOfSerendip:  It doesnt matter if it IS wedding related: you’re still going to the actual wedding and are in no way obligated to attend any pre-wedding get togethers if you do not want to. She is being a brat and I absolutely cannot STAND when you RSVP to something a polite “no” and someone keeps asking for why and trying to twist your arm.

Post # 4
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You don’t ask – you let her know that you already said “no thank you,” and you’re sorry you have to miss it but you’ll see her the next time you see her.

Hope she can have fun without you!

Post # 5
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

They only gave you one week notice, you’re not in the wedding party, and she’s being rude for not accepting your polite “no”. Totally not obligated, and should not feel guilty.

Post # 7
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

She’s insane.

Don’t bring it up again.  If she does, say no again, reminding her about the long work week and what not, and how you two will be physically too tired to go camping.

Post # 8
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@badabing88:  Thank you. Exactly this. 

@QueenOfSerendip:  I declined being a bridesmaid and I got shit on for it. I was really nice about it and explained to her my logical reasons…but that wasn’t good enough. An invitation is not a summons and you can either fit it into your lives, or you can’t. So what if you two just want to relax on the couch together? It’s your life, and your entitled. She has no right to make you feel like you need to attend – you are going to the actual wedding and that’s enough.

Your own family has to be your priority and you can’t let others jeopardize your own health and happiness. You’ve both been busy and need the time to be together – and there’s nothing wrong with that. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve declined invitations because we are tired from work or we just don’t want to go. Other than my crazy bride friend, no one has ever made a big deal over it.

Post # 9
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes, you have the right to decline. In the future, don’t give her an excuse, just decline. Giving excuses allows them to either make accomodations for you or judge your excuse as poor and twist your arm about it.

Post # 10
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Don’t feel guilted into it. It doesn’t sound wedding related, and honestly, it seems like she is just like my bestie. Love her and all, but she’s not one to really understand what it means to take a break and relax with your DH. She is the type who doesn’t really care if she does that herself and would much rather be totally swamped with seeing friends and going places. 

I would just take it with a grain of salt… she’ll get over it. Do what you need to do. She’s being really selfish anyway. 

Post # 12
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

So stupid, I hate people like this.

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