- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
On the heels of a fight, I guess I need to ask the bees here:
Fiance is loyal, smart, funny, etc…BUT there are some issues here. We originally got together after meeting at a wedding, and then he went back home from out of state. We carried on a long distance relationship until three years ago when the facility he worked for went under and everyone was laid off.
He moved back here, and in with me (he is from this state and all his family works here) and started going to school and using his GI bill. For the last three years, that’s where we’ve been-he took a break from school and worked for a bit, but that didn’t work out, and given that he never got off his chair to get signed up for school until the last day, he is not going back until the end of next month. Meaning for the last seven months, he has been on the couch playing video games while I have been working my ass off 60-70 hours per week.
I realize the economy is tough. I think he sporadically applies for jobs, but he has this sense of entitlement that makes me want to wring his neck. There’s a world of jobs that aren’t good enough for him or he wouldn’t like doing. I have told him that his not working is very bad for our relationship, that I feel like I am drowning carrying all the expenses, trying to stay to my debt snowball plan, and paying his way, and by refusing to get a job he is holding my head underwater.
All that happens is he tries to get defensive and turn it around on me…as you can see from my screen name, I argue for a living, so I see right through it.
I relaize now that even when he had a job or was getting his GI Bill before, he never contributed to household expenses. Why would that change? He won’t even clean the house being home all day-I pay for a housekeeper to come in every 2 weeks because I’m too busy.
Bees, I do love him. I do. And in this economy, I know a lot of SOs are out of work and maybe i am not being supportive, but I feel like I am being taken advantage of. I don’t want to marry a gigalo, and I don’t want to be with someone who is not doing the best he can to help, even if he makes less than me or does the house work to make my life easier. It’s what I would be doing if the situation were reversed…
Why is this coming up now? I had to pay his bills this month: car, registration, etc and that meant I have to wait to pay my own. I’m not his mommy, I don’t want to support a grown child, and I certainly do not want to marry one, even if I love him.
What do I do?