Post # 1
I am 24 years old unemployed and on my 3rd surgery this year. My partner is currently in school and working full time making a little under 21,000 a year before tax.
Our families are pretty much not in our lives. My parents are divorced and pretty much hate one another. My dad has a new Girlfriend and children and NEVER comes around. My mom is unemployed and not able to help financially. My partner doesn’t really know her father and her mom isnt working and cant help financially either. My sister and brother has their own families so I doubt they will contribrute either.
I realized that our families are not really firm believers of our relationship. Yes we go to family cook outs or dinner but we arent really taken seriously as a couple. My brother and his Girlfriend are taken more seriously than us. Even though they have been together 4 years and we have been together 6 years. My sister has a Boyfriend or Best Friend of less than 1 year and my mom is already supporting marriage for them.
About 3 years ago my partner gave me an e ring on my 3rd day in the ICU after lung surgery. My mom said it didnt count and that we arent engaged because we can’t afford a “REAL” wedding. Also when I wear my ring my family just says oh thats nice your “FRIEND” gave you a ring. I mean what the hell is that? We live together, we support one another and she is my rock…what doesn’t make us a couple?
We are starting to think of eloping to 1. save money 2. get peace 3. get to have the day of our lives without going into debt. But I would LOVE to have my father there to walk me down the aisle as well as do the first dance. I would love to have my mother there to wipe my tears and zip up my dress. I would love to have my sister & brother stand by my side. BUT I am not willing to have them doubt us on such a speciaal day. Plus my mom has always said she will never fly and everyone says they cant afford to travel….I wanted a intimate destination wedding before considering eloping.
Sorry about the LONG LONG LONG rant!
What would you do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@MrsLevell2Be: It sounds like your family doesn’t support your “nontraditional” relationship. Getting married probably isn’t going to change their minds. Get married or elope because you and your partner want to and stop worrying about what your family thinks.
Post # 4
I’m going to say elope, but for financial reasons! I had originally planned to elope but chose to have a small wedding instead..well that blew up and now it’s a 60 person wedding costing somewhere in the neighborhood of $15-20k. Oops. Should’ve eloped!!
Post # 5
@beachbride1216: I really think thats where I am headed. I am willing to miss out on potential memories and go for what makes us happy. I am tired of waiting for people/family to be TRULY happy for us.
Post # 6
@crystalrae: Oh noooo! That can not happen for us LOL.
Post # 8
You can do a small intimate wedding with your loved ones.
Post # 9
@MrsLevell2Be: To make sure you don’t miss out on capturing those memories for your family and friends, I would definitely budget for a photographer. You can get photobooks cheap online and via Groupons and have some made up for your closer friends and family to send out after you elope (if you choose to!)
Post # 10
@crystalrae: I def want to hire a pro photographer. The only questions is will any of my family be able to attend the intimate Destination Wedding wedding.
Post # 11
My family is crazy and loves drama. FH has a quirky family, but stable. We thought about eloping too. We decided on having a very intimate wedding inviting only 19 guests. Im calling it a compromise! Grandparents, parents, siblings (and partners), niblings and a best friend each. This way there is no dramatic “Why arent you having a REAL wedding drama” and everyone is on their best behaviour due to the small guest numbers. Therefore peace, more money and dad walking you down the aisle,
Hope this helps
Post # 12
I would elope. It sounds like your family doesn’t support your realtionship and will cause you a lot of stress.
Post # 13
@MrsLevell2Be: Elope! Elope! Elope! Even if the circumstances were much better, I would suggest elopement. Wishing I had chosen that option. Can’t believe how much stress and cost is involved in planning even a “small” wedding. You will be surprised how that guest list grows. So much more to the planning than I ever imagined. You end up offending people without intending to with the wedding plans.
Save your self the stress and the money. Make an elopement special. Put whatever money you have toward a honeymoon, and that will be a special memory. You don’t have to just go to a judge for an elopement. You can do it in a park or a small venue, followed by a nice dinner.
Post # 14
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
I’d say elope just for the fact your family seems like assholes. No offense.
Post # 15
Poor thing! I would be heartbroken too. I am struggling with the idea of eloping vs. small vs. 100 ppl wedding. If I were in your shoes though, I would absolutely, positively elope. What is the point of having people there who are not supportive? It is a very nice, however perhaps rose-colored view to expect that they will respect your relationship then, and it’s not worth risking ruining what could be an absolutely perfect elopement designed for the two of you. Congratulations on your engagement!