Post # 1
Help, bees! My fiance and I are planning to get married, but he recently was diagnosed with severe Crohn’s disease. I definitely still want to marry him and be with him forever, but my parents are freaking out about us getting legally married because of finances.
He’s currently on a medication (Humira) that would cost about $4,000 per month, but since he makes so little money (he’s a waiter) and has crappy self-paid insurance, he gets it for free through a patient assistance program. You have to reapply for patient assistance once a year, and next year we’ll be married, and he’ll be on my insurance, and we’ll have a much higher combined household income (all these factors will affect how much we have to pay for his medication).
My parents are also worried because I have significantly more money than he does in savings. If he gets really sick, they fear that my savings would be wiped out by his medical bills. They also think that he might be better off getting on Medicaid, which would only be possible if we were not married.
So what do you think, bees? Should we get legally married and just figure out the finances, or should we still have a commitment ceremony, but hold off on the legal marriage because of potential medical bills?
Post # 3
I think it sounds like you should hold off on legal marriage so that you can get him on Medicaid, but really, this is a huge decision. How does he feel about it?
Post # 4
Honestly talk to your hr or find out how much this will cost you with yout insurance. Figure all of that out and then take it from there. If insurance will cover 90% then I say it would be worth it if that is what the two of you want.
Post # 5
I agree you should talk to your insurance company. If you have good health insurance the medication shouldn’t cost you as much and with the medical bills they should cover a good amount depending on the coverage you have.. 80 or 90%. This is a tough one, we have a friend who has Crohn’s and I know she goes to the hospital to get an IV treatment once a month but other than that she appears to be in good health, she gave birth to twins 8 months ago 🙂 it may be a lot more manageable than you think, maybe he just needs a better doctor and insurance to get him on the right meds.
Post # 6
wow as of now the poll is split 50/50 exactly
i say to wait.
Post # 7
First talk to your insurance to see what the cost for the prescription would be, this could be a non-issue. I think even if he was on Medicaid, if something else were to happen, they might not cover all the treatment that he needs. It isn’t a blank check to do whatever you want, procedures are weighed against eachother to see if it is worth giving this treatment to someone.
Post # 8
A) Definitely figure out what the Humira will cost on your insurance vs. Medicaid. Your insurance provider should be able to estimate based in your pharmacy package. Find out if there are limitations to the Medicaid coverage (time or $), or if there are any preexisting condition stipulations your insurance coverage might need to consider.
B) If your savings/investments are significant, meet with a lawyer about a prenup.
C) stop involving your parents in this process. You know where they stand already, so separate yourself from their POV and make the best decision for you and your FI.
Post # 9
@Ellegee: +1, especially C
Post # 11
@Ellegee: I agree with EVERYTHING you said! Well put!
Post # 12
It’s so sad that insurance screws people over like this. It shouldn’t be the deciding factor on getting married or not. But unfortunately, our insurance system in the US SUCKS. And I totally understand not wanting to pay out the butt for a medication that he needs.
I’m really sorry that you and FI have to go through this. I agree with talking to your insurance provider to find out the costs of the drug through them.
I also agree with leaving your parents out of the process. I get that they are looking out for you, but it’s something you and FI need to talk about and figure out.