Post # 1
My story is that I am 25 year old and my FI is almost 24 (he turns 24 in July). We have been together for 2 and half years and known each other for about 4 years. We met online and been doing the long distance relationship meeting each other every month or two since 2008. We have spend weeks together and weekends and such but never actually lived together. We decided we wont live together for religious reasons and to please both our parents since they have the same values when it comes to that.
I am graduating this Sunday with a 2 year degree only and sadly and FI will not be done until fall of 2011 and he will be also graduating with a 2 year degree. I dont have a career yet and same with him. My FI works 2 jobs now just to make enough money and to save. We have saved enough money for later down the road and parents are helping us with the wedding. The wedding cost is saved already and so a honeymoon/minimoon.
We had plans to end the distance last weekend, however, I am having soem health problems and need to have a surgery done for my knee because I am having problems with it and its unknown whats going on with it. I will have to do physical thearapy for 6 weeks after surgery and then I might be okay and to move to finish planning wedding OR depends on what they find out and might have to cancle the wedding.
FI is trying everything to get me to move and be with him and to get married, because the distance been very very hard to deal with and dealing with everything that is going on with me and us. I have not seen my FI since December and because of money and trying to save as much and also prices of tickets been crazy , we tried to stop seeing each other knowing we will end distance in May, but with unexpected things happening..he will be coming next weekend to see each other until I will be able to move this summer hopefully.
The thing is… even though we have the money for the wedding and some extra in savings afterwards, not having stable jobs and him being working on his own with two jobs until i find a job when I move and a wedding taking place in 4 months, we are very confused to the point we sometimes think this wont work out. I am afraid of getting married and then get a divorce because of money issues that we might have down the road. I feel like we aren’t established yet to face that huge commitment where it not only has to have love which is there, but life is about other things such as money…
FI told me that it will be a bit tight when it comes to finances until i am able to work to help him out. We have been thinking that maybe getting married right away in 4 months is not sucha smart idea and we might have to go against our beleifes and parents to live together for sometime and push back wedding until next year just to be able to handle such thing as marraige?
FI and I been very stressed out and been talking about it and going back and forth as to what to do, he really does not want to delay the wedding but I am the one who is not 100% sure how this will work out..
I guess I need opinions…
Post # 3
Don’t get married if you’re not ready.
I’m 21 and so is FH. We’ve been together 2 years as well, not living together, seeing each other once a week. We’ve also discussed the money issue because FH will be the only one done with college with a job by the time we get married. I’ll still have 8 months left in school. We know that money is going to be tight and that we’re probably going to have to give up some things in the beginning, but we know this and we’re prepared for the difficulties. We know we’re ready to get married.
FH and I (well, FH) orginally said that he didn’t want to live with me before marriage because of religious reasons, but he’s going to once he graduates because it’s going to save a heap load of money. There’s no point in him moving to my city, leasing a place for 12 months when he’d only be living there three, breaking lease and having to continue to pay for those other 9 months when we’re already married and living together.
Post # 4
I dont think you guys are ready yet, I think you need to both finish your degrees, get jobs, move in together (are you virgins? if not would it matter if you live together?) and get married when it will be less stressfull, Wedding Planning is stressful enough with out your added burdens.
Post # 5
It might be wise to wait until you’ve both finished school, launched your careers and saved up more money. Weddings are by no means cheap and money is root to most arguements between couples (according to statistics). Save your relationship and yourselves the headache and the future fights and maybe wait until you guys are established and settled. You both have a lifetime together – so, in the greater scheme of things, what’s a year of waiting, really? Best of luck to you both 🙂
Post # 6
@simpleandchic: Yes we are actually and saving our selves for each other. We cant go on anymore with the distance that we have been dealing with for the past 3 years almost. We are both ready to end it and be together and we are ready to start lives together , however I needed advice or maybe a push to if when it comes to finaces we should keep going or not.
We have the wedding money saved up and some extra in savings, we have parent support and we have put good amount of money for the wedding in Sept that we would hate to jsut give it up, however, I guess I just wanted others opinions on what is wise to do and I might know the answer already as you all stated to wait more and get more established.. but its been very very hard to be far away from each other 🙁
Its only worrying me some because of how life will be hard the first year or so..
Post # 7
I feel like marriage should not be limited to those who are already totally established. Don’t get me wrong, there needs to be some stability in your lives. But it sounds to me like you two are pretty level-headed. If you wait until your lives are perfect before you get married, you probably never will.
If you feel like it’s the right choice to get married now and you think the two of you can handle things, then go for it. But if you’re just considering it for him or so things will be more convenient, just wait a while.