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Well, I think you know your parents best and know if they are the "snooping" type. If you do give them a key, it would be best to hid anything that they shouldn't happen upon in the event that they do snoop. Mom doesn't need to see sex toys ~ lol.
Oddly enough, I think it depends on the parents. We would give my parents a key---they would NEVER use it except for times we needed them to/asked them to.
FI's parents? Well, we can imagine them saying "oh, I dropped some groceries off when no one was home for you!" or "I went over, and you weren't home, so I just went in for a bit to play with the kitty" Or, "I waited til you weren't home to go inside and decorate the house for a surprise birthday party"
Yeah, all nice gestures, but I wouldn't want it. I like privacy in my home!
Both of our parents have keys to our house, and so does my brother. The parents b/c they live far enough away that we don't really need to worry about them just popping in while we're not home. But, it makes them feel secure. And my brother and SIL have one b/c they're pretty close to us...so if anything ever happens where we lock ourselves out, they're close enough to run it over if we need it.
I think that if you feel uneasy, maybe you should let them know a close friend is going to stop by for you to water the plants, but you appreciate the offer.
MIL and my grandmother have a key to our house. We've never had any issues with them just showing up unannounced but as far as snooping goes, I don't know. They both live far enough away now that they would be of no help during an emergency.
How about compromise: give them the key to water but then ask for it back nicely after you return?
We keep a key box on our house so if in an emergency we can give whoever the code to open it to get the key. We don't actually give any keys to anyone.
Both our parents have a key to our house and I feel more comfortable than them not. I guess it all depends on your parents and in-laws and how they act. I know neither of ours would ever snoop and would only take care of what we asked them too. It's comforting knowing they have keys because if we are ever out of town and forgot to do something, they can take care of it for us. I think we just have a level of respect where they don't snoop, just as we have keys to their houses and don't snoop either.
My parents have a key to our house but they would never use it unless they needed to like if we were out of town and I asked them to go there.
Flip it around do you have a key to their house. Both my FI and I have keys to my parents house.
I think this decision is based soley on the parents. If they're the type who would stop by your house while your out of town to make sure your basement didn't leak - then it's all good. Plus there's someone who can let you in an emergency.
If they're the type the don't understand boundaries and see a key as an open invitation to just pop by whenever or possibly be waiting there when you get home for work...then a resounding NO.
I dunno if I'll be of any help because - well... my dad owns the 2fam house we live in. There's an old woman who lives downstairs and we're upstairs.
I'm actually REALLY glad my Dad has a key. Last week I locked myself out - FI was at the Pearl Jam concert & the woman downstairs wasn't home. Yep - I had to call my Dad to let me into my own house! Hah!
I'm planning on giving my parents a key to our apartment for our wedding weekend. We're leaving for our honeymoon early and they're going to drop off our items left from the wedding in the morning. They live out of state so I don't have to worry about them dropping in. Just make sure to hide anything you dont want seen!
i voted yes, but like others have said, only YOU know your family. My parents have our key but its for emergencies. Or it is just easier if we are meeting after work for my mom to let herself in. Or my dad has hung shelves and done work... For me, its a no brainer they would have a key. My cousin who lives down the street also has a key, again, for emergencies.. in case i lose mine or we are locked out...
I would without hesitation give either of our parents keys to our place. But I trust them completely, and on the off chance they went snooping, we're all prett open about things, so I probably wouldn't care because I know they wouldn't pass judgement. Plus, what will they find? Condoms in our nightstand? Oh no, scandal! :)
There are some people I wouldn't give our key to, though. I have some cousins I wouldn't trust just because they're flaky, and I would worry they would leave our door unlocked or something.
I'd be ok with it, I also know not only would my parents not snoop, but there isn't much to find! I can't imagine what a parent would be looking for. I think parents are the only ones I'd trust to have a key, for emergency purposes.
Totally depends...my MIL has a key to our home for emergencies. She checks on our cats for us and everything when we're out of town. She would never snoop, though.
both our parents have a key. his parents always did, and i love it b/c they can just come over and pick up our dog or drop him off when we're not there for weekends we go away and they need to watch him. also, in case there's an emergency so we can't get home (my husband was recently in the hospital and i didn't want to leave his side), they could go walk our dog. for that reason i also gave my mom a key the other day b/c she offered to walk him. i trust our parents, they won't snoop. and there's not much to see if they do.
Thanks for the responses!
A few points. First, we live in a condo, so there isn't really an emergency that the concierge cant deal with. We don't have a key to their place.
And I just don't know if they will snoop or not. Sometimes you think you can predict someone's behavior but people can surprise you.
I guess I will take a chance this time...then see if anything looks 'snooped' (:
I agree completely with VirginiaMarie's comment. My parents (and my grandparents) have a key to my place because I would forget my head if it wasn't attatched to my body and don't feel comfortable hiding a key outside. They've never let themselves in without calling first, and even in the off chance that they would, they aren't the snooping type. I don't really have anything hidden anyway.
My FIs parents on the other hand... His mother, specifically, would let herself in whenever she wanted, and not think twice about it. We had problems with her in the past showing up at our door at 7am on a Sunday to "go out and get breakfast" after my FI and I had a night of heavy drinking. Her feelings were hurt when I opened the door looking a mess and told her we weren't hungry and that she had woken us up. Anyway, I do not plan on giving her a key to our home, and would respectfully decline, but thank her, for her offer to water our plants while we're gone.
Both sets of parents as well as several of our friends have the code to our garage door (which is the same as a key for us). I know none of our friends are going to bother anything in our house. His parents really aren't the snooping type. My mom probably is, but I figure, I'm an adult. If she doesn't like the things she might (or might not) find in the house then she shouldn't snoop.
Having a daughter, it just makes it easier for my mom to have the code. This way if she has to pick her up from school, they can just get in the house and I don't have to worry about my 8 year old losing a key (cuz she would) or giving the code out to all her friends (cuz she would).
fi's parents have a key and i never even thought twice about it...they've only used it to take our dog out when we can't get home and things like that
Maybe we're just less concerned than most? My brother, my good friend who dog-sits, and my parents all have the keycodes required to get into our house (you don't need a key). I have a key to get into my brother's house.
I think it's a good idea for someone to have a key to your home in case something happens and you lose your key, are locked out, need someone to feed the dog, etc. My ILs had a set of keys to our house and they never used them without our permission. You need to set boundaries with your family members.
I wouldn't have a problem giving keys to both sets of parents. The in-laws live out of town and my parents wouldn't stop over without calling. Not a big deal to me. Plus if there is an emergency I would rather then have keys.
I don't have anything to hide, so let them snoop if they want!
Both his parents have a key to our house as well as his sister. We gave them keys incase we ever lock ourselves out or something happens to ours.
His parents live too far away right now to come over and water plants/feed cats but his sister is in our city now. I'd trust her just as I trust his parents. Really, I don't have anything I don't want them to find and I know they won't poke around.
I think it just really depends on the parents. I wouldn't hesitate to give my mom a key either if she didn't live 3,000 miles away. ;-)
My parents will always have a key. I wouldnt have a problem with FI's parents having a key either. They live about 4 houses down and take out the pup if we are not home.
Im not really the type to worry about people coming in and looking around. In my old house before i lived with FI there was like 10 friends of mine that had keys!
We have a code we give to people. Then if we don't want them to have access, we change the code. This reminds me, I need to change it- we gave it to girl who we hired to do some housework for us and is no longer. Love that box!
Yep, they have the keys. They all live at least 2 hours away though so unexpected visits aren't really a concern.
And if you gave them keys and they snooped and found something like sex toys, maybe that would discourage them from ever doing it again!
My parents, his dad and his dad's gf, and my sister all have keys to our house. I know none of the would ever snoop, and my sister watches our dog when we're not here. Its nice to know that someone can get in if we need them to, but again it all depends on the way your parents are
We gave our parents keys, but I definitely regret giving husband's parent's the keys. Since we moved in I've come home to find them there multiple times with no one else home. Mostly doing helpful things, but things that are unnecessary for sure. Like one day I came home to find FIL AND husband's uncle in the basement painting the walls. 1) I had no idea that this was going to happen at all, so they started doing it without letting me know they were painting anything and 2) They could have at least called me to tell me they were coming. It's definitely obnoxious, especially because I like knowing that my home is our private space without worrying about other people coming in without us there, but I get the "safety" part of giving the keys to others.
I have no problem with my parents having a key to our place. However I would never NEVER give FIL's a key ever! FI's dad is a little shady, he is using our address for things and I think he may have a part in the indentity theft issue FI is dealing with. FI's mom is shady herself. FI did give her a key once at our first apartment. I did NOT agree, we had friends down the road I felt more comfortable with. FI wants a relationship with his parents that is just not there :-( Anyways, when we were moving he asked his mom and dad to help (whole different story) and his mom literally went through our stuff right in front of me. We weren't unpacking we were loading the truck. She sat upstair in my papasan chair and opened boxes went through them and told FI how she remember these things from the last move (which she wasn't there for), I am assuming she probably went through our stuff when she checked on the apartment. Which wasn't just ok the cats have food and the place is secure, no she basically lived there while we were gone. Ughh... My parents are not like that at all.
I would also be a little weary about letting family in the house while I am gone, but it is nice just in case something happens (god forbid) while you're away
We live in a rural area where we are surrounded by SO's family so we don't lock our doors. Ever. His parents rarely come in without us home, only to drop something off like an invitation or some food.
I would give either sets of parents a key. Neither are the snooping type. I definately agree though that it is a person by person basis.
I never would. I only have my mother left for parent but she is legally blind so my youngest brother lives with her, and I dont trust him as far as I can throw him. Because our new house might be just down the road, one more reason NOT to give a key.
Well, this could potentially turn into a sticky situation. If you're uneasy about giving them a key, I suggest two options.
1. just buy the watering globes that gradually water your plants throughout the week. I believe they're sold at Walmart for about $10. This will give you an easy out.
2. If you do want to give them a key, give them the key to the doorknob and not the deadbolt. While on vacation, just lock the doorknob so they can get in. And, when you're home and going out to work, the store, etc. lock both the doorknob and the deadbolt so they can't get in even if they tried to.
I like the key box, with a code, idea. At least that way if something's actually wrong you can allow someone get in in a hurry. But you're only going for a few days, so I'd just give the plants a good soak the morning you go! dodge the issue for another while! It all comes down to how comfortable you are with them. TBH, I think the fact you're even asking the question tells you the answer. My FMIL has our key and would only use it in an emergency.
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So we are going away for a few days and FI's parents offered to water our plants.
I feel a bit uneasy with people in general going into the apartment while we are not there. Fi swears up and down they won't snoop, but I just don't know...
Do your parents have a key to your house/apartment? Any bad experiences? I am not sure what to do.