(Closed) Should we have a gift registry? We are having a very small wedding.

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we register for gifts? We are only having 10 people at our wedding
    Yes, register and have our parents tell only those who ask about it : (9 votes)
    50 %
    No, dont register and have our parents say we dont need anything but are saving for a house ($?) : (6 votes)
    33 %
    No, dont register and everyone should keep quiet about it : (3 votes)
    17 %
    Other (explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    3357 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I didn’t register when I had my intimate Destination Wedding ceremony, but for the wedding reception that my ILs held afterwards for 60 people, I did (or rather, I was made to)


    Post # 6
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    If you think people will want to give gifts, I’d do a small registry at a reasonable store (WalMart, Target, etc) of mid-priced items that you really need. That way, your parents can say, “They are registered at Place X, but are focusing on saving for a home.”

    Post # 7
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    If one of my friends was getting married in Bermuda, I’d understand why I wasn’t invited but I’d still like to send them something small as a congrats. Go ahead and register for a few items and keep in mind that some people are capable of googling and finding it. 🙂

    Post # 8
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @jmlw7:  It sounds like you’d rather have the money, and it’s certainly not rude for your parents to say, “Well, they’re not registered anywhere since it’s a very small destination wedding, but they have been saving up for a house.” It would be rude to put it out there or send an announcement with registry info or asking for money – but if people are asking it’s fine to tell them about a registry or that you’re saving up for something.

    Post # 9
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    If there is anything you might be able to use (like new towels… who can’t use new towels? or new pillows… you’re supposed to replace all pillows once a year), register for those things so that the registry is there if someone wants to give a gift. If someone who wasnt invited and isn’t coming to the wedding wants to give you something, chances are they’d rather send an actual gift than cash, and without a registry to guide them, they’ll choose something on their own which you may absolutely love or you may hate. You don’t need to advertise it. Let your parents know and leave your registry searchable.

    Post # 10
    2605 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @jmlw7:  If I’m reading you right, the registry would be more for people not invited to the wedding than those invited, correct?

    If so, its really up to you.  If you register but don’t announce/advertise it to anyone and they either ask about it or find it on their own, then all is well.  I had a small registry when we got married and a lot of people found it without ever even asking if we had one. 

    Personally, I would be put off at you or your parents hinting at cash gifts…it would strike me as crass.  Plus, its not really even necessary.  If you reply that you don’t need anything, people who want to give you something will anyway and that something is very likely to be cash anyway. 

    Post # 12
    2605 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @jmlw7:  No, I see what you’re saying.  If people want to get you a gift, they will and there’s nothing wrong with that!  I don’t think it would look bad for you to have a registry provided you don’t advertise it.  I also think that even if you don’t do a registry, most people know that couples always welcome cash so a lot of them would likely reach that conclusion on their own.

    Good luck!

    Post # 13
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It comes off as rude to hint at cash gifts, especially if folks aren’t invited.  There will be some people will still want to get you something, though.  


    You can either A) guide them towards things that you like/need and have the option of returning or exchanging them with a registry or B) graciously accept whatever people choose to give you.  



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