Post # 1
I have an invitation-related etiquette question. We sent out our invitations around a month ago for our August wedding. Most of our friends are in long term relationships/marriages where we are friends with both partners, so there were not many single people who might need plus one invitations. We did give plus ones to my close friend who is a bridesmaid (although I haven’t yet met her boyfriend of a few months) and to a couple of friends/family whose partners one of us had met at least once.
However, one of my FI’s friends lives in another town and we don’t see him often, so neither of us had met his (relatively new) girlfriend. They don’t live together and the last time I saw him he was with someone else. Therefore, we didn’t give him a plus one invitation – he is friends with many of our other friends so will know plenty of people at the wedding.
My FI has been asking some of the singers we know, including this friend, to sing at the wedding as part of our choir. The friend contacted FI on facebook yesterday and said that he assumes he can bring his girlfriend to the wedding ceremony, but not the reception. I now feel awkward about not inviting her to the wedding, particularly as he will be doing us a favour by singing at the ceremony. I therefore think we should offer her an invitation to the whole wedding. We are already over the number of attendees that we expected for the reception, although there is no limit set by the venue so theoretically we could accommodate more (although this of course increases the cost for us). FI is not sure, but thinks perhaps we should invite her as an evening guest (this is common and acceptable in England) and say that she is welcome to come to the ceremony as well if she wants to.
What do you think we should do?
Post # 3
I would just invite her to the whole wedding, since the friend is doing you a favor.
Post # 5
@Pumpkin_Bee: I agree. I would invite her as well
Post # 6
@Dashwood: I agree with the other posters. You should invite her, he’s doing something nice for you after all. Besides, I’m sure 3 months into dating your FI you would have liked to bring him to a wedding that you were invited to, too.
Post # 8
I would invite her to the whole thing.
Post # 9
Part of the “Invite her to the whole thing” camp here! If he weren’t doing you a favor, then it would be more justifiable not to invite her.
Post # 10
@Dashwood: I would invite her to the whole wedding, since he is doing you a favor. it’s also a good way to know her 🙂
Post # 11
Honestly consistency is key with wedding invite policies — it kind of sounds like he was the ONLY person who did not get a plus one? And then you asked him for a favor? Eep! Invite the gf!
Post # 12
We gave all of FIs single friends a plus one. No guy wants to go to a wedding anyway, nevermind stag. There are only 3 of them so it’s not too big of a deal for us. They all found dates to bring.
Post # 13
@bridinmt: No, that’s not the case – we didn’t give plus ones to guests with no SO or where we have never met a partner (and they are not married or living together). There weren’t many of them though.
Post # 14
Thanks Bees for your input – I have asked my FI to extend the invite.
Post # 15
@Dashwood: We are planning to go with this rule too: married or living together gets a +1, everyone else, no. We are havign a very intimate wedding (50ish people) so people are understanding.
BUT given that the friend is doing you a favour OP, I would invite the gf.