Should we invite groomsman's crazy girlfriend?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we invite crazy?
    Yes, avoid hurt feelings and hope for the best. : (85 votes)
    76 %
    No, it's not worth taking the risk. : (27 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    @AugustBride2013:  He’s a groomsman. He gets a plus one. You don’t get to choose. End of story.

    It sucks that she’s crazy, and maybe designate another groomsman or someone at the reception hall to keep an eye on her and if she gets out of hand, she gets thrown out. You don’t have to know about it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @AugustBride2013:  Can you give us more evidence of her “crazy” behavior? If she has done a lot of terrible things in the past I can understand your concern, but if this was an isolated incident I think you need to polite and grateful to your groomsman and give him a plus one, whoever that may be. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    @AugustBride2013:  Truth is, you probably won’t even realize she is there. I doubt she will cause a scene at a wedding, and even if she did… you probably won’t notice.

    He is a groomsman which means he gets a plus one. Even if she is crazy.

    Post # 6
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yes, invite her.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @AugustBride2013:  Hmmm… did you set a rule on married/ how long they’ve been together for plus ones? That might be the route to go.

    Post # 9
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Anyone in a relationship gets to bring their partner. Period. It’s not up to youto judge the seriousness of their relationship. Sorry, you have to invite her.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3737 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @MangoSong:  +1. 

    All members of the wedding party get a +1. Sorry :/

    Post # 11
    Member
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center

    Invite her, and tell him if she does something ridiculous that he’ll simply have to take her back to the hotel. It would cause even more problems than necessary if you don’t invite her.

    Post # 12
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @AugustBride2013:  Not if she’s likely to be violent. I’d say something like ‘Groomsman, we appreciate that you want GF there, but due her unpredictable behaviour in the past we feel it would be best for the other guests if she didn’t attend.’ 

    It actually sounds like this girl may be mentally ill. Perhaps you or your FI could suggest the groomsman finds her some help instead of labelling her ‘crazy’. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @AugustBride2013:  unfortunately i think you need to include a +1 for the gm.  perhaps the guest of the other gm can keep her occupied/company over the course of the day.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1520 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @MangoSong:  agree!  she is his plus one, and he is a groomsman… maybe you can talk to him and tell him you are worried about her at the wedding and hope she behaves?

    @classyashley:  this!  

    Sorry you dont get to dictate who his plus one is…. and if she is that crazy she may just crash your wedding anyway b/c she is upset that she is not invited to her boyfriends friends wedding, especially since he is a groomsman

    Post # 16
    Member
    6507 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MangoSong:  This

    I would say all or nothing for plus ones. Either you give them to guests or don’t but you shouldn’t single out one person and not give him a plus one just because you don’t like his SO.

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