Post # 1
FI and I need some advice about a groomsman’s crazy girlfriend. We really don’t want to invite her to our wedding because she really is CRAZY, like she once tried to stab a guy in the bathroom with a broken bottle crazy. We have seen her freak out on so many occasions, especially if she’s drinking, that we thought it was a no-brainer that she wouldn’t be coming to the wedding. The groomsman, who has been with her on and off for the last few years, apparently just assumed that she is invited. FI had a talk with him about it, and he really had his feelings hurt. He is asking that we reconsider, and we don’t want to hurt him because he’s an awesome guy, but we really don’t want to take the risk of her ruining the most important day in our lives. We have this vision of her flipping out about something, groomsman having to take her back to the hotel, and then missing the rest of the reception. All of our friends that we have talked to has said the same thing and can’t believe that this groomsman would even think of bringing her. So what would you do??
Post # 3
@AugustBride2013: He’s a groomsman. He gets a plus one. You don’t get to choose. End of story.
It sucks that she’s crazy, and maybe designate another groomsman or someone at the reception hall to keep an eye on her and if she gets out of hand, she gets thrown out. You don’t have to know about it.
Post # 4
@AugustBride2013: Can you give us more evidence of her “crazy” behavior? If she has done a lot of terrible things in the past I can understand your concern, but if this was an isolated incident I think you need to polite and grateful to your groomsman and give him a plus one, whoever that may be.
Post # 5
@AugustBride2013: Truth is, you probably won’t even realize she is there. I doubt she will cause a scene at a wedding, and even if she did… you probably won’t notice.
He is a groomsman which means he gets a plus one. Even if she is crazy.
Post # 7
@nawella: It has not been one isolated incident. Like I said, she freaks out allll the time. Like on the floor kicking and screaming, throwing tantrums like a 2-year-old. And no one can figure out why the hell the groomsman is still with her after all that she’s done to him…
And about the plus one thing…no one else in the wedding party are bringing guests except 2 of my girls who are married and one groomsman who has been with the same girl for years (and whom we really like and get a long with). The other bridesmaids and groomsmen aren’t bringing dates and are fine with that.
Post # 8
@AugustBride2013: Hmmm… did you set a rule on married/ how long they’ve been together for plus ones? That might be the route to go.
Post # 9
Anyone in a relationship gets to bring their partner. Period. It’s not up to youto judge the seriousness of their relationship. Sorry, you have to invite her.
Post # 10
All members of the wedding party get a +1. Sorry :/
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
Invite her, and tell him if she does something ridiculous that he’ll simply have to take her back to the hotel. It would cause even more problems than necessary if you don’t invite her.
Post # 12
@AugustBride2013: Not if she’s likely to be violent. I’d say something like ‘Groomsman, we appreciate that you want GF there, but due her unpredictable behaviour in the past we feel it would be best for the other guests if she didn’t attend.’
It actually sounds like this girl may be mentally ill. Perhaps you or your FI could suggest the groomsman finds her some help instead of labelling her ‘crazy’.
Post # 14
@AugustBride2013: unfortunately i think you need to include a +1 for the gm. perhaps the guest of the other gm can keep her occupied/company over the course of the day.
Post # 15
@MangoSong: agree! she is his plus one, and he is a groomsman… maybe you can talk to him and tell him you are worried about her at the wedding and hope she behaves?
Sorry you dont get to dictate who his plus one is…. and if she is that crazy she may just crash your wedding anyway b/c she is upset that she is not invited to her boyfriends friends wedding, especially since he is a groomsman
Post # 16
I would say all or nothing for plus ones. Either you give them to guests or don’t but you shouldn’t single out one person and not give him a plus one just because you don’t like his SO.