Should we invite Mum's best friend?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would you invite her?
    Yes : (38 votes)
    79 %
    No : (10 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    42453 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Janelle123:  I would invite her. She is your Mom’s friend and your Mom wants her there so it really doesn’t matter much if you don’t like her. I’ll bet that you have friends that your mother doesn’t like.

    In the grand scheme of things, one person more or less will make no difference to you or your FI. You will have plenty of other people to occupy your time.

    Post # 3
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    You probably won’t even notice that she’s there, this probably isn’t a battle I would fight. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    617 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    If it were me, I would probably invite her.

    In the grand scheme of things, you probably won’t even notice her there. But you likely will notice how upset your mother is for the weeks leading up to your wedding, as well as the day of. 

    Not inviting her would cause too much unneccessary drama- dont use this invitation to send a message to your mom about which friends of hers you like.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    For me it would depend on how big your wedding is. If it’s a small 20-person one, I’d say no and explain that it’s only extremely close family to the B/G. If it’s a large 100+ person one, I’d say yes. I had a 100-person one and there were people I obligate-invited, and the most conversation I had with them was “congrats!”/”you look pretty” followed by my “thank you!” just because there were SO many people to talk to, you don’t remember much.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    The bff is not wanting to come to support you, but rather share in an important day in your mom’s life. I understand not liking your parent’s friends and wishing they would just go away. Sounds like this friend is not trying to push her way into your good graces, so make your mom happy and invite her. Carve some alone time for just you and your mom on your day. After that make peace that the woman is there and your mom may be a bit occupied with her.

    Post # 8
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    This best friend is a piece of work! However, I do think you ought to invite her because she is your mom’s friend. Ignore any of her nasty behavior and remember that with inviting her, that makes you the bigger person. If the wedding is small and you would rather it just be family and just a few of your friends, explain this to your mother.

    Post # 9
    Member
    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    No. Have people there that  make you happy and support you.

     

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    3598 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    No way!  Your mom may consider her a friend, but she’s a horrible person.

    Post # 11
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    julies1949:  +1

     

    If mom wants her there, you should invite her. Also, is your mom helping to pay for the wedding? She should be able to invite her best friend if so.

    Post # 12
    Member
    594 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Janelle123:  My mother also has one of those friends who I cannot for the life of me figure out why she continues to be friends with. I didn’t invite her to my wedding, she got over it and so has my mother. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Janelle123:  I am actually in a similar position so I feel your pain. My mom has a “friend” she wants to invite and my Dad (divorced from my mom) CANNOT stand her. I think she testified against him when my parents went to court over my custody. In any case, my mom made it clear she really wanted to invite her and other than family, she only was inviting one other friend. It actually made me a little sad when I stepped back and thought about it…she only wants to invite 2 couples? In any case, I think it will go a long way in making your mom happy and not creating drama in her friendship.

    As for FI, I think you have to just sit him down and explain how it is important to your mom and therefore important to you. She is an adult and if she wants to be friends with this person and she really wants her at the wedding, I think you guys can basicaly ignore her “friend” come the day of the wedding. It’s not the easiest situation but hopefully he sees your POV. Good luck!

    Post # 15
    Member
    42453 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Janelle123:  If I do decide that its best to just give in and invite her, does anyone have any ideas on how I can convince FI?

    <div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>Perhaps because it will make his FMIL happy and she will be his MIL for a long time?<br /><br /></div>

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