Should we invite my (soon-to-be) brother in law?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Invite them. That way, if they don’t show up, it’s on them. If you don’t invite them you are just creating more fuel for their silly feud. You get ONE DAY, not five weeks to have your wedding.

Post # 3
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d invite them other wise they get to continue to play the victim card.  If they don’t attend that’s on them.  It could make future relations with your inlaws really strained and stressful and at least you tried.  

Post # 4
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t understand what they are so upset about, your wedding is after theirs, not before. Sounds very immature of them. But as pp said, it’s better to be the bigger person and invite them to your wedding. At least that way it doesn’t get brought up at every holiday dinner in the future that you didn’t invite your BIL to your wedding. It’s up to them to decide if they attend or not. 

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Gademers:  I would invite them. That way the ball is in their court and you took the high road.

Post # 7
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

I would send an invite. However I would probably also have someone at the wedding that could escort them out (if they even show) if they try to pull some childish stunt. This is a day that is about you & your FH, don’t let immature family members take the focus off of that.

Post # 8
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Gademers:  Invite them. Then if they don’t attend, it’s their responsibility. But if you don’t invite them, then you could end up looking like the bad guys.

Post # 9
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Gademers:  Yeah, I would invite them too. It makes you the bigger person and if they refuse to come or act foolishly if they attend then it’s all on them for being so ridiculous. 

Post # 10
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Agree with PP. invite them and allow them to decide.  sorry you’re doing through this ~ sounds pretty childish in being upset that someone is marrying 5 weeks after your wedding. What would have been an acceptable timw frame?  Geez, you get one day not an entire year.  Did they worry people would forget they got married by the time your day came around?

Post # 11
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Invite them.  It’s up to the couple to decide if they will attend. 

Are you attending tgeir wedding?

Post # 11
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Invite them.  It’s up to the couple to decide if they will attend. 

Are you attending tgeir wedding?

Post # 13
Member
5267 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Agree with PP you should invite them and it’s on them.  Like it or not you are now family and this is not the last time you will have to deal with them.

Post # 14
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

In general, I find it hypocritical to extend an invitation to someone in hopes that they decline. If you wouldn’t actually mind them showing up, then feel free. But if their presence wouldn’t bother you in any way, then sure, go ahead and invite them. They’re refusal to attend says much more about them than it does about you.

Post # 15
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Gademers:  Invite them. Be the bigger person. ANd like PP said, if they decline, its on them. They will look like the jerks. Not you. 

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