Should we invite relatives that don't respond to requests for addresses?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we invite relatives that don't respond to requests for addresses?
    Hell No - they are RUDE : (32 votes)
    24 %
    Yes - track them down until you get the address : (27 votes)
    20 %
    try to reach them once more, if they don't respond, they are not invited : (74 votes)
    56 %
    pretend their STD and invitation got lost in the mail : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d pick up a phone and CALL THEM.  Contact other family members and ask for their addresses. Use WHITEPAGES.COM to search their address.  If you really want them at your wedding, you’ll get their address.  Yes, i think it’s rude not to invite someone if they don’t get their address to you…and it is rude on their part for not responding, but come on, using FB to ask for an address?  You can always designate 1 member on each side of the family (your mom, his mom) to gather all addresses to family members for a guest list.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    Sorry, unless your Fiance’s Parents are dead, or he isn’t talking to them, this is the sort of thing that he should be organizing to happen between his Mother (and Father) and yourself.

    If anyone should know all the stats on that side of the family, names, addresses, who to invite etc… it should be one of them

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @anon1234:  I wouldn’t send a Save the Date and would only send an invitation if they happen to get back to you with their addresses between now and when the invites go out. If they don’t provide their addresses too bad…not invited. I would not be asking for that information again or making any effort to track them down, and if they never receive an invitation they should not be surprised!

    P.S. Don’t invite the boyfriend or daughter no matter what.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @rickhurst35:  Gimmee a break. Not rude at all to ask for address info over FB. Wake up and get with the times.

    Post # 8
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    I  wouldn’t bother.  We called, texted, facebooked  and some ppl  just did not care to give us their addresses. Why waste your money on people who act like that?

    Post # 9
    Member
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee

    @sillysillybee:  Sorry, it’s not etiquette to ask people for their address over Facebook or Twitter.  It’s tacky.  

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee

    @anon1234:  BTW, some people read FB messages and just don’t have time to reply or forget to reply.  Give it time or send a friendly reminder saying why you need their address. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee

    [comment moderated for personal attack, snark]

    Post # 15
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    If you can’t get their addresses, then they don’t get an invite.  That’d be the end of it to me.  If they can’t bother to send you their address, I’d take it as a sign that they don’t want to come to the wedding anyway.  I was absolutely shocked at the low response rate for our wedding.  Something like 60-80% of people invited didn’t respond at all, and we had our parents tracking them down to get a response.  Phone is usually the best way to get a hold of people, so we only used FB as a last resort like you.  I’d just give it up at this point.  It sounds like you’ve done a lot.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1498 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @anon1234:  Umm it is not tacky to ask for addresses over FB…  It’s not like you’re sending the actual wedding invite over FB.  If after multiple attempts people still couldn’t get you their address, I’d probably not invite them.  Why should you have to hound people?  It takes 2 seconds to type up your address and respond.

    @rickhurst35:  She must be young?  Does that mean you’re old, since you think it is tacky?

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