Should we invite them?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Don’t invite them. I think brides and grooms overestimate how much people other than close friends/family care about being invited to their wedding.

Post # 6
Member
2833 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

nawella:  It also sounds like they were fishing for an invitation. “Hey, I understand your daughter is getting married in May. And we were thinking of visiting that very same May (even though we only see you guys every couple of years), so umm…would that be a good time to visit?” or stated alternatively “can we get an invite to the wedding and make it seem like a huge coincidence that we we’re in town?” IDK. I can be cynical sometimes.

Post # 8
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

It’s tough, I have a B list too, my reception venue (a small hotel) can only take about 60. When the refusals come in I will send out more invitations. Some people get really hung up on this stuff and it’s just silly. There are people you need to invite who are unlikely to come and you work from there (bridal party + close family out).

Is your mom paying?!

Post # 10
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

nawella: Mum’s are tricky, when I voiced an objection to adding someone to our B list (lovely lady, but a bit difficult around alcohol, which there will be plenty of at our reception) she had a go at me because this person is on a disability support pension. Like I was discriminating against her disabled friend! I could have slapped her, I suffer from a disability myself. How dare she use that to guilt me about not wanting someone getting massively trashed at my wedding and making a huge scene?! Instead I slapped her down verbally, it’s entirely unacceptable …Mums.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Taiki.
Post # 12
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

nawella:  I understand where she is coming from, but she sees this friend in terms of who the friend is to her, she is my mum’s friend (and one of my brother’s godmothers), to me she is a nice lady my mum was close to when they were younger than I am now. I may end up inviting her eventually anyway, goodness knows my family is capable of enormous scenes without a drinking problem to ‘justify’ it, and I’m still have to invite the most likely offenders (my divorced parents), so I guess at this point all bets are off anyway.

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