Post # 1
My fiance and I are planning a wedding in the midwest, but eventually want to live on the west coast. I think we should stay near the wedding venue until the actual event (next June). Fiance has been looking at job prospects on the west coast, and doesn’t want to miss an opportunity.
He thinks we should move before the wedding. I’m thinking, if he gets a job now, what’s the likelihood that he’d be able to take time off for the wedding itself? (I work from home, so I can work anywhere). How stressful is it to plan a wedding a half-country away?
What should we do? We’re a house divided!
Thank you for your help!
Post # 3
We had that same issue… We are hoping to move back to Seattle after the wedding. Honestly, I think it would’ve been hard to plan a wedding from a distance. I’m glad we’ve been in the same city where we’re getting married. If you’re getting married next June – that’s not TOO long to wait to move, right? And you are so right about him not getting vacation time, most companies don’t let new employees take vacation time for a certain amount of time.
Post # 4
June is not very far off. Does he have any job offers? It would be my preference to stay close until the wedding since it is pretty close and then move. Maybe get really aggressive about looking for a job in April – in many of those circumstances, they might be able to give him a start date after the wedding (we do this a LOT for folks we hire on), or worst case, he might need to move early and travel back and forth for a month or two while you finish up the wedding planning.
Yeah, I wouldn’t want to do a cross-country move in the middle of wedding planning. But if he doesn’t even have a job offer, then I especially would not move. If he had a job offer it would be another matter.
Do you think he’d be patient if you said you guys could move after the wedding whether he had a job or not?
Post # 5
My husband and I did exactly that.
We both already had jobs in where we used to live (and jobs we both loved, too), but husband got headhunted and was offered a very tempting job in NYC. We’d always wanted to live there, so we decided to give it a go. We got engaged in Februrary and set a date for September. He got the job offer halfway through May and we contemplated for a couple of days and decided to go for it. He moved about 2 week later, and I followed a couple weeks after that.
Long story short, we finished planning our wedding in Texas from NY and is was fine. We both found new jobs and one stipulation we both had when we accepted the job was that we’d need time off for our wedding. Neither of our bosses had a problem with that.
So, in one summer, I resigned from one job, found a new job (not as easy as it sounds), planned a wedding, moved cross country (and we each did that seperately), and then started a new job.
But I survived, and I’m glad we did it. People plan destination weddings all the time. You can do it, you just have to get creative (for instance, we only met our officient over Skype before that actual wedding, and I Skyped with my florist. Every other vendor was handled through email).
Just plan and book the big things before you move. We booked our venue, food, cake, and some decor before we moved…. and booked photographer, videographer, florist and bought the rest of the decor from afar.
You can do it! If he gets a great job there, don’t pass it up!
Post # 6
Thank you, all. We will most likely stay close. I mentioned the fact that he doesn’t have an offer, and he saw the logic in waiting. Good idea about the post-wedding start date when he does get an offer. I like the idea of starting a search in April and then moving after. Wise words, Bees!