Post # 1
So I was not inclined to send save the dates because there’s a limit as to how many guests we can invite and I’d prefer to do an A and B guest list. But FI has a ton of out of towners and feels we must send them and that they should be formal mailings, not emails that are likely to be ignored/forgotten about.
I’m going to have to be pretty selective about my list, and i feel that sending save the dates may alert some way in advance of the wedding that they aren’t invited and raise some issues. But i’m also concerned if we send them to some and not others, the ones who don’t receive them will be offended, even if they are invited to the wedding!
Did anyone else struggle with this? Do we have to send save the dates to everyone who is invited? Thanks bees!
Post # 3
We are doing STD’s for oot guests (which is ALL of his guest list. Some of his family may have to fly in from Ireland) I’m not going to send them to my local family or friends because the standard 6-8 weeks is fine. But for people who have to think about international and long domestic flights, renting cars, hotels, ect will get one.
Post # 4
I only sent STD’s to people who I know no matter what would be on the a list so to speak. Also we had about half the guests coming from out of the country so we thought it was best for people having to book flights. I just finished the final gues list for wedding invites and there are only 5 couples on there that did not get a STD.
Post # 5
We did STDs ONLY for A list out of towners (and some people who I knew would really appreciate them). If you want to send them to locals you can, but it certainly isn’t needed since they don’t have to plan vacations around your wedding. Definitey DO NOT send them to anyone that you don’t know for sure will be invited to the wedding.
Post # 6
We are only doing stds for out-of-town family. In part this is to save money on stds, and because I don’t want to commit to inviting anyone in particular this far out (but family is all people who I know we will invite). We plan on doing A and B list invites with separate RSVP dates so that we can invite more friends as family decline, and it was important to me that no one know they are on the B-list, so I am keeping just the family on the a-list and just the friends on the b-list, if that makes sense.
Post # 7
We sent save the dates to probably 2/3 of our list. It turned out to be a good thing that we didn’t send them to everyone because we needed to cut the list mid planning. Pretty much anyone who hadn’t revived a STD got cut.
Post # 8
A list only for sure. If you send Save The Dates to th eB list then you are obligated to invite them no matter what.
Post # 9
We’re sending Save the Dates to our friends that live far away and our close family. I guess that would be the A list, though really I would send to everyone if we could invite 200 people.
Post # 10
We sent save the dates to only the out-of-town guests.
Post # 11
@Leprechaun: we’re planning on doing the same thing with the A/B lists! i’m hoping it will allow be to invite more friends.
It hadn’t occurred to me that i could leave out the A list locals that are not family, because as nmsoonerbride said, they dont have to plan a vacation around the wedding. I think every single out of town guest is family, so that would work and could eliminate the issue of having some friends get them and some friends not…
i could maybe do family, out of towners and bridal party only?