Post # 1
I guess I’m totally like a guy in this one area or maybe it’s just the Asian in me, but I don’t know if I can stomach spending tens of thousands of dollars on a one day party. In every other aspect I’m the girliest girl any of my friends know, but I’ve always been a saver and like the security factor. Even though I’ve been very fortunate in life and I can afford to have the wedding I want, I wonder if it’s prudent in this uncertain economy? Am I totally weird that I’d rather save money? My FI on the other hand who is totally conservative is okay wtih spending the money. My dilemna is should have the wedding of our dreams or should we have a very nice wedding and save a ton of money. Has anyone ever regretted spending the money? I’m so confused! I don’t want to have any regrets either way.
Post # 3
There is nothing "weird" about feeling uncertain about spending a lot of money on a wedding, recession or not. My suggestion to you would be to do as much research as possible on all your different options. A simple destination wedding with a handful of guests, a beautiful grand wedding, a modest budget wedding, a city hall ceremony and a kickass, luxurious honeymoon, etc….figure out what matters to you and how much you are willing to spend to have a wedding that you and your FI can both enjoy. If you find out that something you love is out of your budget, figure out if you are willing to forgo it or if you can find a cheaper alternative. Once you know what your options are, you’ll be able to better evaluate what is or is not worth it to you.
Post # 4
How about go halvies? Take what you would spend on that dream wedding, then chop it in half. Half a savvy wedding instead of a big luxury one. Then you get a little bit of both. There are lots of affordable wedding options, so don’t think you have to completely give up the idea of having a wedding. A friend of mine got married in Florida, and I guarantee you they didn’t spend much money. It was quiet, small, intimate, and since their honeymoon was there, the ceremony is typically thrown in for free, so you just have a nice, small dinner for 20 people or so!
Post # 5
Dude, I feel your pain. Even considering maybe spending $10,000 on a wedding makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m not certain that I have any advice, but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone on that one!
Post # 6
every time I look at our budget I think of what it could be, a car or a down payment and the tiny little voice says just go to the courthouse! I have talked this over with friends and everyone feels differently, I had one friend say she didn’t really care about the wedding but his family did, so she is glad she had it. Another bride said hers was priceless and she would pay double in retrospect if she had to. I have come to the decision that (within reason) money comes and goes but you only get one wedding. So as long as you don’t go into debt or spend so it makes you have no safety net or whatever your personal line is, go for it. And post pics for us
Post # 7
I’m the same way except my parents offerend to pay for it so I was nice and let them HA, but had it of been charged to me I don’t know that I could have stomached the $10,000 they spent. Actually it went over a bit, but my parents are fortunate. I maybe would have spent 5k if it was me, but orginally my fiance and I were going to elope and just pay like $500 to get married on a little beach in San-diego. SO I feel you.
Post # 8
I have these same thoughts! I have a hard time looking and seeing our budget and know all the other things that we could have and enjoy with this money. But when we think about it we know that we will have the time of our life, we will be surround by friends and our family. Not only that we only get this one wedding! Just enjoy it and live it up, (just within our budget)!
Post # 9
It seems to me that what you’re concerned about is not necessarily spending X on your wedding, but spending X in the recession. And that makes me think about what else you’d do with the money right now. Do you have other savings, how secure are your jobs, etc.
I’m very lucky that my parents are paying for the lion’s share of our wedding, and my father has adopted an out-of-character attitude. He keeps looking at his financial statements and seeing how much money he lost for nothing. So he would rather spend a little more on the wedding than just keep loosing it in the market. So that’s one other way to look at it.
Obviously scaling back and keeping perspective on the budget is important. I hope that this helps you make your decisions a little easier.
Post # 10
What a great question. The decision is defintiely a tough one and will be different for every couple. I think the great thing about being part of a Community like WeddingBee is that you have the opportunity to learn about the best deals and get inspiration for DIY which both saves money and personalizes your wedding, so you can get the most wedding bang for your buck.
That being said if I were planning my wedding now, in this economy I would definitely be going as minimal as possible in terms of spend, but still trying to get a WHOLE lot for my $$$. A huge part of that is that I am a rabid bargain shopper who gets a HUGE thrill out of getting the most while spending the least. I think the economic climate would only feed that compulsion in me!
Post # 11
I think this is a personal question only you can answer. Some food for thought:
- Why do you not want to spend the money now? Is it strictly because of the recession or are there other factors?
- Where are you financially on the rest of your life? Do you already own a home or have a downpayment saved for one? Is either of your careers at risk? Do you know of any major expenses in the near future? Do you already have a significant savings? etc.
- What would you do with the money you saved if you did have a modest wedding?
- How long are you willing to wait? No one really has any idea how long this recession will last, but are estimating easily into 2010, if thats the case the economy won’t be fixed until 2011 or so…This could be a long time.
In reality it comes down to you have to be prepared to get married and you both together need to decide what is reasonable. I would really try to figure out what is holding you back, because to me just the we are in a recession isn’t a viable answer. Obviously each person has their own monetary fears.
Another thing you could try is both of you throw out a number on what you think is reasonable to spend and compromise. If you are really interested in marrying soon, start shopping around just to see what the prices are and if they are in the ball park.
I doubt you will find anyone who regrets the money they spend or didn’t spend at their wedding because again its a personal choice and reflection…And remember you family may ultimately have something to say about this matter too (as they will likely want certain guest there, may help, etc).
Post # 12
I look at it this way …
I only get married once (hopefully) and I’m helping the economy by spending all this money 😀
Post # 13
I’m with imLissy.
There is not a better way to spend your money locally and in the US than on a wedding!
Our save the dates were a mock newspaper article announcing a new stimulus plan. It got a bunch of laughs!
My retirement accounts are half what they were. My generally savings account is only 1.5% interest. Spend now, save in flush times when saving can actually make money.
Assuming you still have a job, it’s your civic duty!
Post # 14
I will agree that its a good idea to pump your money back into the economy– but I really think these tough economic times should be used for a lot of us to cut back a little! Whether you have 10K or 100K to spend- you can always cut back somewhere! There are deals to be had… you just have to search for them!
In our situation: our original wedding budget was more than double what it is now, but we decided we could cut back a little & not harm the integrity of our day. Instead of inviting 200 people, we’re inviting only our nearest & dearest (between 50-75) and we’re renting out a fantastic restaurant on a Sunday afternoon/evening. This way the minimum sales were less than 1/2 of what they would be on a Saturday evening.
It all depends how you envision your special day. Don’t compromise so much that you are unhappy!