Post # 1
My FI and I have been together for a little over a year. We got engaged right before our one year anniversary of being together. We will have been together for two years by the time we get married. I love him and trust him no matter what, but my Mom has told me it wouldn’t be smart to start a joint savings account with him because the “what if we break up” speech.
We are wanting to start a savings account to start putting money back for AFTER the wedding. We will still keep our separate savings accounts. I just want to do what will be best for us in the “long term” planning and if that to start a joint bank account then, that’s what I want but if not then I’ll stay away from it.
What do you think? And what have you and your FI done to “remedy” this situation of money related issues?
Thanks for the posts!
Post # 3
I would wait til you’re married to start one, but do have lots of money talks, and there is no reason that you both can’t be individually be saving money to put into the joint account once you’re married!
Post # 4
Yes, it is tough to combine things before you are married in case the worst case happens.
Post # 5
My FI and I have been together for almost 3 years (lived together for 2). We have only separate accounts. He takes care of the bills, and I transfer him $$ every month. We divide other things (I get groceries, he gets dinners out, etc) and it works for us. We see no need to create joint accounts until we have children, so things will stay status quo until then most likely. We are both savers though, so that makes things easier as we both know that the other is doing their part.
Post # 6
We have our own accounts AND a joint account. It has been handy.
Post # 7
I personally wouldn’t combine $ before getting married and to be honest, I’m married now and I still have yet to do it. BTW I’m in no rush. But this is because I had horrible $ problems with my ex husband so I’m scarred. My DH just gives me $ and I handle all the bills, groceries etc. That works for us.
I think it is a matter of choice/preference. Consider who pays the bills, who is likely to get to the bank and handle the financial affairs, etc. Do what is best for the two of you.
Post # 8
We started one after we got married. We actually shared our money before because I had quit my job so he paid for well, everything. And then I had a big savings so if he needed any money I would just give it to him. And then right after the wedding we put everything together. I’m glad we waited.
Post # 9
I think it’s entirely up to you, and you should do what works best for you and your FI, regardless of what your mom says. FI and I will have been together about 10 years by the time we are married, and have had joint accounts for household things and our own accounts for about 2 years. And to be honest, FI pretty much handles by account now because he is much better with saving than I am. We opened the joint account after we bought the house just because it was easier, and we both have a set amount of money from each paycheck direct deposited there and the balance goes into our individual ones for our personal bills (cars, student loans, and fun stuff). We’ve been talking about consolidating to just one, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. It works for us, but every situation is different.
Post # 10
We have a joint account. We got it before we were about to make a big move and it ended up being easier. FI is former military so we are able to use USAA and get some of their cool benefits. I agree that you should have money talks and see what works best for you guys.
Post # 11
Standard personal finance advice is to not co mingle anything before you’re legally married. That being said, my FI and I completely merged our finances before we were engaged. Neither of us had any assets, and it was really to really just combat our debt together, and we did it. It worked for us, but our solution is definitely not the best for everyone.
Honestly, though, it worked out immensely when about 1.5 years ago, he was out of work for 6 months. I was able to support him completely with my paycheck (because we had no more debt payments). Then, over the past 6 months, I’ve been out of work, and his check has supported both of us. I’m currently in an internship which will most likely be leading to a position in the fall, so we’ll both be working and having more money than we know what to do with, but I would never ever change the way we set up our financial situation back then.
Post # 12
i would wait until you are married to combine incomes. You also need to go over all expenses before you do this (including loans, CC’s, bills, clohtes allowance, beauty, food etc). We actually went over all our individual expenses before even being engaged…our debt, etc. DH and I started living together very soon in our relationship but we still did not merge until after marriage. And ALL of our monies is accessible to both of us. Join everything. It has worked GREAT for us. Joint accounts is a big deal. Good luck
Post # 13
We are going to set one up this month since our wedding is next month. We are going to use it to put our wedding present money in and use it for our honeymoon and household things for the both of us. Besides that, we are keeping our own separate bank accounts with our own for money from our paychecks. I like to spend my money on clothes shopping and him on music and movies and electronics so it would not be good for us to put all our money together. We live together and just split the bills and works out fine.
Post # 14
FI and I opened a joint checking account to pay our rent/bills from, but still have separate checking accounts for the remainder of our money. We also had a separate savings accounts at our own individual credit unions, but when we got engaged, he added me to his so I could direct deposit wedding savings every month.
We talked it over for a few months before coming to this decision, and have a clear understanding, that should we part ways, we would get back what we individually contributed.
Post # 15
Well my fiance and I have been dating for almost 7 years, so my opinion or what works for us, might not work for you but I’m willing to share . We have our separate checking accounts but when we got engaged, we opened a joint savings account (“The Wedding Account”) also and we each have a percentage of our paychecks direct deposited into the account. I just feel that it’s easier this way to keep track of everything budget wise and convenient also. Hope this helps !
Post # 16
We have our own and a joint account.