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Should we stop TNTC before the wedding?

posted 1 year ago in Babies
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: When should we stop TNTC?
    Stop now, what is meant to be will be! : (5 votes)
    12 %
    Wait until after the wedding, there's too much going on right now! : (36 votes)
    88 %
  •  
    1.
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    marissa227    June 4, 2011  

    Ok, so should we stop TNTC or not?

    Our wedding is less than four months away. I feel like lately I've been taking my birth control pill, while secretly hoping that maybe it won't work! The reasons why I think we should stop are that:

    1. We know that we want kids, it's something that is really important to us, so wait any longer... what if we have trouble and it doesn't happen right away and then we wish we had started trying earlier?

    2. I just can't wait any longer... I think about it aaallllll the time. I'm just so excited about it, and my FI is too...

    Reasons to wait:

    1. It's not the perfect time financially... I'm a little bit worried about paying for daycare and I want to buy a different car after the wedding. On the other hand, I think there will never be a perfect time financially and it will always seem scary.

    2. There won't be any downtime between wedding stuff and baby stuff, which could be a little stressful. But.... I don't really mind because we have had a 4 year engagement so I've had plenty of time for wedding planning.

    3. What if I do become pregnant and I don't fit in my dress? Let's say we conceive the first time we try... that would make me 12 weeks for the wedding... would it be an issue?

    Sooo.... what do you think? I feel like my heart is saying baby, baby, baby and my mind is saying just wait a while to get more things in order (painting house, buying car, wedding, honeymoon...). I don't know what to do!

     
    2.
    Member
    5,983 posts
    Bee Keeper
    SapphireSun    July 9, 2010   Vancouver, BC

    What if you have "all the time sickness" at your wedding? 

    I'd say wait, it's only 4 more months... but if you guys really feel ready, then go for it!

     
    3.
    Member
    607 posts
    Busy bee
    Snowy414    August 20, 2011   Colorado

    I think this is a hard question for the hive to anwser.  Its a very personal decision and a big decision which you know.  I'd speak to your FI and weigh the pros and con's with him. Everyone will have different thoughts, because its different for everyone.  

     
    4.
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    marissa227    June 4, 2011  

    I know this :) we've already discussed it and kind of made up our minds. I just wanted to get some outside advice/experiences because we aren't talking openly about it to friends and family.

     
    5.
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    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    postitnote    August 5, 2006  

    I would wait ONLY because between 6 and 17 weeks, I felt sick all of the time.  I also spent an entire day a week in bed sleeping.  And I conceived on month two, so it's totally possible that you could be pregnant and in your first trimester by the wedding.

    None of the other reasons really matter if you want to have a baby, but you do want to be able to enjoy your wedding and not be sick and exhausted through it.

     
    6.
    Member
    2,439 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Mrs Green Grass    August 14, 2010  

    One really good reason to wait the short time until your wedding.  You might break out really badly!  Check out older threads on breaking out post-BC.  It's been 6 months for me and my skin is ridiculous.  It would have seriously stressed me out if it was like this for the wedding.

    I think your mind is smart so listen to it!  Also for #3...You don't want to be puking on your wedding day!

     
    7.
    1,740 posts
    Bumble bee
    MissHoneyBun       Dallas, TX

    It's not the perfect time financially

    I think you just answered your own question. Weddings are a financial stress, but nothing compared to raising a child. Give yourself a little time to recoup. Also give yourself at least one day of being married before you add to the mix! Plus, what IF you get pregnant right off the bat and you're 12 weeks and your dress doesn't fit? Also you're breaking out and puking every half hour? Not a fun wedding day. One step at a time! You have plenty of time to have babies!

     
    8.
    Member
    903 posts
    Busy bee
    Miss.Lace    April 30, 2011   Austin

    If you have things on your wait list then I wouldnt think its the right time...wait till all the things on your wait list are on your reasons why

     
    9.
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    marissa227    June 4, 2011  

    Thanks for the advice guys :) My mom and my grandma were both 4 months pregnant for their weddings, so I guess I was thinking it wouldn't be that bad.. but knowing my luck I will probably be sick and break out too!

     
    10.
    Member Icon
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    undeniable    June 5, 2009   Arizona

    Wait!! I am almost 14 weeks pregnant and I still get bad "all day" sickness! Also, there were quite a few weeks (between 6-10 weeks) where I was just dead exhausted. Trust me, you don't want to be sick AND tired on your wedding day!

     
    11.
    Member
    6,643 posts
    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    I would wait. I had a friend who was 2 months pregnant at her wedding, it she had a tough time fitting into her dress. Plus, morning sickness can be pretty miserable, and can last all day. You don't want to be feeling like you want to puke during your wedding. And you just never know how your body will react to pregnancy, you could get bad headaches, acne, etc. 4 months to wait really isn't that long.

     
    12.
    Member
    537 posts
    Busy bee
    souliganprincess    June 4, 2011  

    @marissa227:  Hello date twin!  I'm the same way - I just keep thinking about it ALL the time.  I'm going to take the opposite end of the spectrum and say do it.  If you both are comfortable with it, go ahead, but if financials are a concern, and it sounds like they are, then you might hold off and get your financial house in order because kids are a tad bit expensive, especially when you have to consider the unexpected expenses that might come up.  My FI wants to wait until after the wedding, and that's ok with me, but it doesn't stop me from reminding him every day.  It also might take your cycles a while to get regular once you get off the pill.  But to each their own, and to you, yours!  Good luck with whatever you decide - we each have one child from past relationships, and I'm just in a hurry for us to make our own little bundle of joy :)

     

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