(Closed) Should we use our wedding gift money to pay my fiance’s debt

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

That’s a toughie. . . I would probably use the gift money to pay down the highest interest debt.  I know that technically it is his debt, but you will also be responsible for the interest rates and that is costing you money every day.  The more you pay down, the less interest you will be responsible for.  

Post # 4
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

it sort of makes sense to not pay interest. are you eventually combining everything? If he is making huge payments every month is that coming out of your household budget?

Post # 5
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would definitely pay down outstanding CC debt.  Like pp said, you will be affected down the road.  If you guys don’t pay down the CC debt now, he’ll have to continue paying, meaning he won’t be contributing to your household funds.  Always always always pay off credit cards first.  And once they’re paid off, start a savings fund.  Don’t let him get back into his old ways of racking up debt.

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

So when you get married, does his debt become your debt?  What I mean is, if something happens to him, to which he can no longer pay his debt, will you be liable?  (I really don’t know the answer on going after a spouse for the other spouse’s debt.)

Also, even if he is paying off the debt on his own, with his own pay check, is it still affecting you?  (Ie less money for a house downpayment? Vacations?  Your Christmas or birthday presents?)  My guess is it still has an impact on you.

Ultimately, I think it’s wise to get out of debt.  And more importantly, make sure his spending habits have changed.  (I agree student loans are different than cc debt.)

Post # 7
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I agree with the others.  It’s smartest to pay down the cc debt.  The less of a burden it is for him, the less it is for the household/you.  And in the long term, you’ll be glad it’s just gone.

Post # 8
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I say keep debt separate for a while.  I had a large limit cc and my now xh ran it up when we were building our once dream house.  It fell onto me..and yes I authorized him to have an extra card.  I sure wish I did not.

Let him pay down his debt himself and keep the debt SEPARATE from you or your debt for a while.  I might LET him him have SOME of the money to help pay it down but this is his baby imho to rock.  I learned my lesson on some of this stuff the hard way..

Post # 12
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Listen to Ms. Orman!!!

And maybe AT MOST give him 1k of your gifting monies.  SAVE your savings!  You never know when you will need several months of survival monies in this fluctuating economy.

Not eveybody will do what my xh did (and I sure hope NOT) but it did happen and it was awful..he messed my cc up and also defaulted on HIS vehicle (a super expensive BMW that was in both of our names but the court ordered it to remain his and him to make payments on it.)  By the way, the court order is DIFFERENT from reality as the creditors didn’t care WHO the court deemed responsible..both of our names were on that vehicle!

He was to keep that one and I kept my suv.  He defaulted and it hurt MY credit.  It’s been five years ago now and things are finally great with it.

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My friend is paying off all of her fiance’s debt once they get married. She’s dumping her ENTIRE savings to pay off HIS student loans. She says that once they’re married, they both start off at ground zero together.

I don’t believe in this. Things can go sooooo badly. You earned your savings. You never know when you might need it. Your FI needs to take care of his own finances.  

Post # 14
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

3 mos of savings is recommended for most families in case of troubles.  Do hold onto that savings!

What if either of you lost their job?  What if somebody had a prolonged illness? 

Post # 16
Member
308 posts
Helper bee

his debt is your debt now, i agree with most people by saying you should help pay off his highest interest debt off right now (probably the cc one?).

you will feel better down the line… you can’t treat it like it’s only his problem because you guys are now a team.  ^_^

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