Should we wait until I graduate college for the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Should we get married this spring or wait?
    Get married this spring! 2014 : (26 votes)
    26 %
    Wait! Get married next spring. 2015 : (73 votes)
    74 %
  • Post # 4
    6194 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I will be the unpopular opinion here, but I say do it in 2014. You’ll have classes either way, and honestly wedding planning is only as hard as you make it. I just can’t imagine having to deal with wedding excitement and senioritis at once! If you do it in 2014, you’ll be able to devote your senior year to job hunting instead of wedding planning.

    Post # 5
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think if you are in love and can financially afford it sooner, why not? You don’t know what can happen tomorrow or the next day, so make choices that will make you happy TODAY. When my FI asked my parents permission for my hand in marriage, my parents asked him when he thought we’d actually wed. My FI replied with “one or two years”, bc that’s what I’ve always expressed. To my surprise, I found out my usually very quiet and unopinionated Dad got a little emotional and told him not to wait “for the perfect timing” logistically, and to get married just as soon as we wanted… He told my FI that “you know when you know” and not to delay the inevitable, bc we can’t predict the future and don’t want to live with regrets. Would anything God-forbid happen to a loved one while we waited? One of us? You just never know.

    It’s so true, and one of the main reasons we will only have a ten month long engagement (just enough time for us to plan and pay for the wedding). I even wish we could have done it sooner, as I have unexpectedly and tragically lost two very young family members during our short engagement, both who I was looking forward to having present on the wedding day. 

     Yes, they will be there in spirit and there will still be a place in our wedding for their remembrance. However, it still hurts that they won’t be smiling in our beautiful photos or laughing in our sweet videos… 

    Post # 6
    599 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @jenniferleighh:  I’d say do it. I have a few friends that got married while in college and they said it was the best choice. Especially with planning a wedding the girls always said it was fast and simple since they had limited time to second guess items.

    Post # 7
    8850 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    How long have you been together?  If it’s 3+ years, I’d say go for it.  If less, I think a long engagement can be really beneficial.

    Post # 8
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @jenniferleighh:  Well plenty of married couples are in school, it is really just a preference. I think I would probably wait until 2015. It will be really cool to graduate and get married all in the same month!

    Post # 9
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @jenniferleighh:  I’d say wait. ONLY because you truly do not realise that after graduating college life gets very boring. I say this after seeing many friends graduate and go through some nasty deep depressions.

    If you google it, its a VERY common issue. People dont talk about it because graduation is supposed to be happy. If you have something to plan and look forward to, I would think that the year would be easier. It sounds so silly and untrue, but it is real. 

    Just think you go from 3-23 in school. Thats 20 years in school. Just wait until the day comes where you have NO more school. Its cool for the first 3-5 months… after that it gets bleh. 


    Post # 10
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @smv22114:  You make a very good point. I change my answer and say go for it! haha

    Post # 11
    767 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My friend is currently finishing up in herprogram while planning a wedding. Her wedding is aroundgraduation. She is  BEYOND stressed. I say wait wedding planning should be fun and enjoyable (it can be stressful of course) BUT you do not want the stress of schooling either on top of everything.

    I say take one life moment at a time!

    Post # 12
    2305 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I got married with a semester to go, and DH had another full year (he’ll be 23 soon but spent a year in engineering before changing to architecture, which set him back a year.)

    I will admit right at first it was a little hard to concentrate on classes because… OHMYGOSH WE’RE MARRIED YAY I DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BUT CUDDLE ON THE COUCH.

    But honestly, after that, I think school has been *easier* since we got married. We didn’t live together beforehand, so now that we’re living together and sharing resources, our time management has gotten a lot better. We’re not spending a bunch of time going back and forth between our apartments and spending half of our time apart texting each other. In your situation it doesn’t sound like too much will change.

    If you *want* to get married in 2014, I say go for it. It’ll probably be hard to balance classes with wedding planning (I know it was for me, and I had an 11 month engagement), but let’s be real- you’re engaged! You’re gonna be thinking about planning all the time anyway regardless of how long your engagement is.

    But if your FI really really wants to put it off until 2015, you do need to take his feelings into consideration- after all, it’s his wedding, too!

    Post # 13
    33 posts
    • Wedding: April 2014

    My opinion is to do it in 2014, you never know what can happen in the

    future so if you love each other then why wait? People wait years for the “perfect” time, age, financial position ect but in life things never go to plan & your relationship needs to survive harder times as well as “perfect” times. Being in school isnt really a reason not to get married in my opinion. 

    Post # 14
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I say 2015 mostly because with going to school and working, you probably don’t have a ton of free time.  Having a longer engagement will give you more time to get everything done.  You could do a bunch of planning during summer 2014 when you don’t have class.

    Post # 15
    895 posts
    Busy bee

    @sbee21:  +1! 

    I’m getting married while in school, I don’t know how school and marriage relate… I’m ready to be married and if I wasn’t busy with school I’d be busy in my career, what’s the difference?

    Post # 16
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I think you should wait only if getting married will impact your financial aid status (if you haven’t looked into that do it), otherwise I think you should go ahead and get married providing you are financially independent and stable (as in don’t get married if you’ll still be financially dependent on your parents and/or living with them after your wedding since you’ll still be a student).     

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