Post # 1
FI and I got engaged late last week (EEEEEE!) and have been talking about marriage for a few months. We have decided one thing–we definitely want a May or June wedding. The problem falls here…I graduate in May 2015, and the only day that May or June that we can agree upon would be 4 days before graduation (although finals would have been over for a full week and a half). FI really likes the year 2015, too. However, I would sort of like to go ahead with a wedding in 2014. The venue and photographer we want are both available on several weekends this spring, so that would not be an issue. As far as having to plan quickly, a close friend of mine had a 6 month engagement (ours would be 7-8 month engagement), and she loved it because she was forced to make decisions and didn’t have time to fret over details and keep changing her mind. It worked out perfectly. I can picture myself doing the same–if I am forced to make decisions, then I will accept that it has to be that way and not worry about other options anymore.
Like I said, I don’t graduate until May 2015, so I would have one more year of school after getting married, and I don’t know if that would be a problem or not. I took a year and a half off of school, so if we got married this spring we would be 23 and 27, respectively, so really not *that* young.
What do you bees think?!
EDIT: We are currently living together, and both working full time. He has already finished school, and I am working full-time as a restaurant manager while going to school. We make more than enough money to live on and have plenty of savings.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@jenniferleighh: I say wait.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I will be the unpopular opinion here, but I say do it in 2014. You’ll have classes either way, and honestly wedding planning is only as hard as you make it. I just can’t imagine having to deal with wedding excitement and senioritis at once! If you do it in 2014, you’ll be able to devote your senior year to job hunting instead of wedding planning.
Post # 5
I think if you are in love and can financially afford it sooner, why not? You don’t know what can happen tomorrow or the next day, so make choices that will make you happy TODAY. When my FI asked my parents permission for my hand in marriage, my parents asked him when he thought we’d actually wed. My FI replied with “one or two years”, bc that’s what I’ve always expressed. To my surprise, I found out my usually very quiet and unopinionated Dad got a little emotional and told him not to wait “for the perfect timing” logistically, and to get married just as soon as we wanted… He told my FI that “you know when you know” and not to delay the inevitable, bc we can’t predict the future and don’t want to live with regrets. Would anything God-forbid happen to a loved one while we waited? One of us? You just never know.
It’s so true, and one of the main reasons we will only have a ten month long engagement (just enough time for us to plan and pay for the wedding). I even wish we could have done it sooner, as I have unexpectedly and tragically lost two very young family members during our short engagement, both who I was looking forward to having present on the wedding day.
Yes, they will be there in spirit and there will still be a place in our wedding for their remembrance. However, it still hurts that they won’t be smiling in our beautiful photos or laughing in our sweet videos…
Post # 6
@jenniferleighh: I’d say do it. I have a few friends that got married while in college and they said it was the best choice. Especially with planning a wedding the girls always said it was fast and simple since they had limited time to second guess items.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
How long have you been together? If it’s 3+ years, I’d say go for it. If less, I think a long engagement can be really beneficial.
Post # 8
@jenniferleighh: Well plenty of married couples are in school, it is really just a preference. I think I would probably wait until 2015. It will be really cool to graduate and get married all in the same month!
Post # 9
@jenniferleighh: I’d say wait. ONLY because you truly do not realise that after graduating college life gets very boring. I say this after seeing many friends graduate and go through some nasty deep depressions.
If you google it, its a VERY common issue. People dont talk about it because graduation is supposed to be happy. If you have something to plan and look forward to, I would think that the year would be easier. It sounds so silly and untrue, but it is real.
Just think you go from 3-23 in school. Thats 20 years in school. Just wait until the day comes where you have NO more school. Its cool for the first 3-5 months… after that it gets bleh.
Post # 10
@smv22114: You make a very good point. I change my answer and say go for it! haha
Post # 11
My friend is currently finishing up in herprogram while planning a wedding. Her wedding is aroundgraduation. She is BEYOND stressed. I say wait wedding planning should be fun and enjoyable (it can be stressful of course) BUT you do not want the stress of schooling either on top of everything.
I say take one life moment at a time!
Post # 12
I got married with a semester to go, and DH had another full year (he’ll be 23 soon but spent a year in engineering before changing to architecture, which set him back a year.)
I will admit right at first it was a little hard to concentrate on classes because… OHMYGOSH WE’RE MARRIED YAY I DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BUT CUDDLE ON THE COUCH.
But honestly, after that, I think school has been *easier* since we got married. We didn’t live together beforehand, so now that we’re living together and sharing resources, our time management has gotten a lot better. We’re not spending a bunch of time going back and forth between our apartments and spending half of our time apart texting each other. In your situation it doesn’t sound like too much will change.
If you *want* to get married in 2014, I say go for it. It’ll probably be hard to balance classes with wedding planning (I know it was for me, and I had an 11 month engagement), but let’s be real- you’re engaged! You’re gonna be thinking about planning all the time anyway regardless of how long your engagement is.
But if your FI really really wants to put it off until 2015, you do need to take his feelings into consideration- after all, it’s his wedding, too!
Post # 13
My opinion is to do it in 2014, you never know what can happen in the
future so if you love each other then why wait? People wait years for the “perfect” time, age, financial position ect but in life things never go to plan & your relationship needs to survive harder times as well as “perfect” times. Being in school isnt really a reason not to get married in my opinion.
Post # 14
I say 2015 mostly because with going to school and working, you probably don’t have a ton of free time. Having a longer engagement will give you more time to get everything done. You could do a bunch of planning during summer 2014 when you don’t have class.
Post # 15
I’m getting married while in school, I don’t know how school and marriage relate… I’m ready to be married and if I wasn’t busy with school I’d be busy in my career, what’s the difference?
Post # 16
I think you should wait only if getting married will impact your financial aid status (if you haven’t looked into that do it), otherwise I think you should go ahead and get married providing you are financially independent and stable (as in don’t get married if you’ll still be financially dependent on your parents and/or living with them after your wedding since you’ll still be a student).