(Closed) Should you invite someone to your wedding that you aren’t comfortable with?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@WeddingBee29:  I’m not sure I’d want her to come either. She sounds like a psycho drama queen. If she were normal, I’d say MAYBE stick it out because of the groomsman, but I can see why she would make you uncomfortable. I personally wouldn’t invite her.

Post # 4
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

sounds like she’s a nut. Hold your ground.

You made the guest list when they weren’t dating- that’s pretty ballys of the groomsman to insist that she gets to come or he’s not? He’s not much of a friend, either.

Post # 5
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@WeddingBee29:  Firstly, I wouldn’t want her there.

Secondly: tell groomsman that because it’s so close to the wedding the guestlist has been made.

If you’re bold enough and if the venues “small” enough or even if it isn’t, just say there is limited space.  You could even go as far as saying if people decline invites you will try to squeeze her in.  But don’t.

Post # 6
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Unfortunatley, I am also in this situation.  FI’s best man is dating this indivual that I cannot stand.  But she is invited, because we also feared that if she was not invited, best man would not come.  (BTW – everyone other than the two of them thinks she is toxic).  I mean, this girl is a piece of work – FI’s other friend has said she has made comments which has led this friend to not feel comfortable leaving his child in a room alone with this toxic girl.

I was really not happy that she was coming to our wedding – our weddig is also small and we did not invite any “plus ones” – only people we knew.  But when I weighed the options – having this toxic girl at my wedding or not having FI’s best man come to the wedding…..well, it was a no-brainer for me – she got an invite.

And I have 5 wonderful bridesmaids, plus my outspoken mom, plus my aunt (whom I love but can be vindictive as hell to anyone hurting her family), plus a day of coordinator.  All have been alerted about this toxic girl.  Yes, I am sure she will try to make some kind of scene at my wedding, and I am equally sure that all the people that love me will deal with her (which may involve just throwing her off the dock!!)

Good luck, and remember – you’re the bride – on your big day, no one will give a rats ass about whiny, bitchy girlfriends!!

Post # 7
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m super strict with this type of thing re: my wedding.

If I don’t want you there, you are not coming. There is no negotiation. Can you have FI reason with his best friend?

Post # 10
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@WeddingBee29:  I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. This is going to be a day you remember…Why would you want anxiety on a day that’s supposed to be all about you and your fiance?

Post # 11
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Its your day and NO SHE CAN NOT COME!!!! how imature of your FIs bestfriend.  He know that there have been problems in the past, neither of you are friends with her and the just started redating.  YOUR FIs GROOMSMAN IS THE ONE BEING SELFISH!!!  They probably wont even be dating by the time june rolls around anyway…. So NO she is not invited!

Its sad that your FIs bestfriend no longer wants to be a part of the wedding, kinda also says a lot.  you are not being selfish, who wants somebody they do not like at their wedding?!?

Good Luck, Hold your ground…. the friend is the selfish one

Post # 12
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow, it sucks that your FI is calling you selfish. You aren’t.

Post # 14
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Your groomsman is being a drama queen, and that girl sounds like a psycho. Hold your ground.

Post # 15
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If your fiance was invited to a wedding and you were not, you wouldn’t like it. You’d probably want him to decline the invite, because it is rude to split up a couple, as wel as incorrect etiquette. He’s in a relationship with this woman, whether you like it or not. He did the right thing. You did not.

They are correct in that you are selfish. You won’t even notice her presence. Your fiance, however, will notice his best friend’s absence. 

Post # 16
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i would never invite her, and if the groomsman didn’t come because of it then oh well… I will not have someone i didn’t like, at my wedding… and if he’s mature he will come without her.  I’m already not inviting one of my aunts because she’s such a b*tch and i don’t want her B.S there.  

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