(Closed) Shouldn’t feel this way, but I do!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Your feelings aren’t right or wrong they are just your feelings and you are entitled to them. I wouldn’t say anything to the girls obviously as I doubt it would go over well. I would be worried to as I was so horribly sick my first trimester I would worry my gal pals would miss my wedding.

Post # 4
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with your feelings I had the same kinda feeling myself.. but it may not go over very well if you say something to them.. you could always say it jokingly like ..Cant ya just wait a few more months ya dont want to have to be everyones designated driver for my wedding do ya. or something?  I dont know..it is a touchy subject to bring up but like you said its only a few months.

Post # 5
2759 posts
Sugar bee

The problem is, you can’t really expect your friends to put their lives on hold for you – especially something like pregnancy which can be so hard to achieve and cause so much grief and stress for people who really want it to happen. I understand being afraid they could miss your wedding or that the attention might not all be on you, but if they’re friends you care about who care about you, then the love and excitement will be there on your day, pregnant or not.

Post # 6
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

What jocember said. We’re in cycle 4 of trying right now. On average, it takes couples 8 months to get pregnant. Also, were they supportive throughout your pregnancy? If they were, it does come off as a bit princessy not to be supportive of their decision to start a family when they chose to. I’m sure that they’re looking for the same support they gave you when you were pregnant with your little one.

Post # 8
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My BIL & SIL welcomed their first child about 6 weeks before our wedding. Naturally I had to share the last/most exciting months of our engagement with them and their news. As an only child who was used to having all of the attention on her, I didn’t take this well. I was happy for them because they were happy but I was none too pleased with having to share the spotlight.

Our niece was born and everyone went baby crazy. My Mother-In-Law did a good job of juggling both major events and she never made me feel like our wedding took a back seat to the birth of her first grandchild (I’m really lucky because it could have been completely different). Our niece was not at our wedding but they did bring her down for some pictures beforehand so she could be part of the family portraits. Other than that, we didn’t even see her and no one asked about her. It was our day and it wasn’t about her so I don’t even think that she was on any of our guests minds (well except for her parents).

I only say this because I dealt with an actual pregnancy and birth right before our wedding and it really wasn’t an issue even though I totally worked myself up over it for so long. Even if your other two friends get pregnant, it’s not like anyone would even know about it unless they advertise. If your one friend is just announcing it now, she won’t be too far along to where it will affect your wedding in any way. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. Take it from me, there are so many other things to deal with in the final months leading up to your wedding. Your friends pregnancy/impending pregnancies won’t impact you at all. 

ETA: Also, one of my BM’s was about 3 months pregnant at our wedding and you would have never even known it. While she was showing a little, I don’t think that most of our guests could tell. Her bun in the over didn’t take away from our wedding in the slightest. Then again, she would also never let that happen. 

Post # 9
1088 posts
Bumble bee

@MamaMegs721: I saw someone mention on here, how your feelings are your feelings, amd feelings aren’t right or wrong.. only actions are.. but you can’t help the way you feel.. and I know it must be irriating because you wedding is soon and you want it to be all aboutyou but you can’t tell your friends to not get pregnant or something like that.. as long as they’re there for you on your wedding day and throughout the process they should be helping as much as possible as well. i have a friend who’s graduating may 7th so almost 2 months after my wedding, and she’s a Maid/Matron of Honor, I have 2, and sometimes that’s all she talks about and you know graduating college is a big deal for her because she’s the first in her family to do so.. I try to be understanding and realize that even though she’s super excited for my wedding, (she shows that and she’s planning my bachelorette party) she still has a right to be excited about her own plans and tell me about them.

Post # 11
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I kind of know how you are feeling.  Not only am I getting married next year but so is my sister and my bestie.  My sister first, then me 3 months later then my bestie 2 months later.  My sister is very pushy and we always joked about her taking over my wedding planning but now with her wedding 3 months before mine she is all consumed with her stuff.

I would’ve loved to be all up in the mix and arguing with her about stuff that I don’t like about her wedding and have her all in the mix arguing about stuff that I’m doing in my wedding but because we are both so busy planning we are not driving each other crazy( in a good way) and that is driving me crazy.  We are going dress shopping together which I hope we can argue there..lol

So I totally understand.   You want to be there for them and enjoying all the news and you want them to be partying in with you and enjoying your day.

Post # 12
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m going to have 2 pregnant sister-in-laws at my wedding, both at about 5 months.   Oh well! πŸ˜€  As long as they’re fine, it does not worry me.  They’re just going to look a little big in the pictures and no drinks for them!  πŸ˜‰

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