Post # 1
Some of you have responded to a previous thread where I mentioned that I was hosting a Bachelorette Party as a BM in someone else’s wedding. It was long, but here is the thread…
Now my latest dilemma is that the BM who stepped in and asked to throw the shower has now spoken to the bride and decided with her that both would be on the same day, which is the Saturday before her wedding. She also said that the shower would be held from 1-5 pm at her home – and the Bachelorette was supposed to be at my home that night. We live about 30 miles from each other and she is suggesting a multi-hour gap between the parties. Also, the guest list for the Bachelorette is much smaller than the shower – so some people aren’t being invited to both.
I know plenty of people do this – both parties on the same day – but this feels like too much. It’s going to be nearly 20 hours straight of party, driving. hosting, and being with the same group of people who don’t know each other that well. And frankly as the one throwing the bachelorette, I feel like I’m being screwed into hosting something at my home and doing it all based on what everyone else says/wants/MOH can or cannot afford.
I mentioned in the beginning that going in as a group on a suite in a hotel would be a great option. I’m still thinking that would be best since we are going to be much closer to Seattle than my house for the shower – we can leave the shower, go check into the hotel, etc – instead of driving to the shower, going home, getting ready, driving to my house, etc.
Post # 3
After reading that, I should mention that I’m hosting the bachelorette at my home to avoid having the MOH host it at the BRIDE’S home. If I sound bitter, I’m not about them being at my house because I actually love to entertain here – I’m bitter that back in April I was told I would have no part in either party because they had it covered and besides it was ‘too early to plan anything’ – and then no one planned anything! When I found this out two weeks ago, I went to them and said we have less than two months until the wedding, no response. After I talked to the bride and asked her what she wanted, they suddenly came out of the woodwork and started dictating what I should or shouldn’t do.
I just didn’t want the bride to end up with no parties because of their lack of planning. 🙁
Post # 5
hmm.. in my experience it’s a lot to do many activities at the same time. We had my bachelorette Friday night, bridal shower Saturday morning, rehearsal Saturday afternoon, Rehersal dinner Saturday night and wedding Sunday morning. TOO much!!
They got me drunk on friday and I had to do so much between everything and hosting people, all my out of town family I was exhausted. I’d recommend trying to come up with a slightly different plan – atleast spread it out like thurs-sunday maybe?
Post # 6
I just did this! I live in London and all of my family and friends are in the US so it was the only way. We had the shower at my mom’s house saturday afternoon from 12-4 and mainly served soda and water (and food, obviously). We had a champagne punch but that was the only alcohol. Then my friends took me out that evening into NYC for dinner and drinks for my bachelorette. It was exhausting (especially since I was jetlagged!) but totally worth it and a ton of fun. If it’s the only way to go, I say go for it. Just don’t drink too much alcohol at the shower. My friends slept over at my parents’ house with me and we all had brunch together (which were the leftovers from the shower!) the next morning. For us it worked out well.
Post # 7
My MOH had her shower and bachelorette party on the same day, and she was exhausted. It was one of the main reasons we changed it up for mine. I ended up having my shower on Friday night and my bachelorette on Saturday. We kept the shower fairly low-key, and on Saturday morning, all we did was mani/pedis and lunch. Saturday night, though, we ramped it up. By Sunday, we were all tired but not exhausted.
Post # 8
it’s probably just a lot of activities for one day. but if logistically it’s better or everyone, i’d say go for it. but yes, you will be tired. lots of sleep before?
Post # 9
We did this for my friend’s bridal/bachelorette with a few hour gap and a lot of people ended up not going to the bachelorette because they didn’t want to wait around. But – she has bad friends so that might not be an issue. :p
And way to step up and plan something for your bride – I hate when people who say they’ll take the lead just bail on being in charge.
Post # 10
Personally, I would have loved it if my girls planned both the shower and the bachelorette for the same day, but of course most of my guests live in the same area. The way I looked at it, I’m so busy and I’m sure everyone else is, why take up TWO days of their summer when we can do it all in one day!? But I can see from your thread that there’s more history to it than that… good luck!!
Post # 11
I had both on the same day. My guests live anywhere from 30mins – 6 hours away, so it made sense to do them both on the same day. 🙂
Post # 12
We did the shower/bach party at my house on the same day. It wasn’t very stressful at all and pretty relaxing. We got together at 11 or so, had lunch, did presents, hung out/watched tv/went shopping while the MOH “set up” the living room for the night and then we had dinner at 6pm or so and went out. We had ice tea and soda and punch at the shower and it was all very laid back.
Post # 13
What I plan to do:
I am having a smaller wedding and will have low key parties… I am planning on, the night before the wedding….when some out of town friends will be in town….having a bridal shower/bachelorette party at the same time….only after the rehearsal dinner (which will also be low key)…
I will just have them bring bridal shower gifts to the bachelorette party, and it will be a smaller get together, more low key….
I think the idea of having both parties on same day as your friend suggests is good because then people only have to arrange to come one weekend/night/day….more convenient for them