Post # 1
A co-worker is getting married this weekend. My husband and I attended a couple’s shower for her and her fiance a month ago and gifted several items from their registry. We spent an amount equivalent to what we would spend on a wedding gift, and equal to what they gifted for our wedding.
So, bees, do we gift again at the wedding this weekend, or are we done? Does it matter if the wedding is local versus destination (this particular wedding is 5 hours away and the only resort within 30 miles a 2 night hotel minimum).
Show your work, and I’ll give my opinion in a post below.
Post # 3
Personally, I am erring on the side of not gifting again. In my experience (from my own shower/wedding and other family members), a gift for the shower IS a gift for the wedding. I received gifts at my bridal shower from family and friends, none of whom gifted again at the wedding.
My husband thinks we need to gift again, but with cash this time. He has no reasoning behind it other than “I think that’s what you’re supposed to do.”
(Either option is totally fine, I just wanted to do the right thing!)
Post # 4
@OldMrsMcDonald: I think you should gift for both.
Eta: I’ve never been to both shower and wedding without gifting at both, nor have any married friends I know only received gifts at the shower. People typically gift at both with cash in a card at the wedding.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I would give a gift at both…I think his idea of cash or a gift card is good.
Post # 6
@OldMrsMcDonald: Absolutely get them a gift for the wedding also. Personally, I usually get a few registry items for the shower and give cash for the wedding.
Post # 7
I always gift for both. Something smaller for the shower and then a bigger gift for the wedding.
Post # 8
If I’m invited to the shower, I give both a shower gift and a wedding gift.
Post # 9
I have heard that you give a gift for each event you are invited to. So shower and wedding. But I think it is all a personal choice since gifts are technically optional anyway!
Post # 11
I used to be under the impression that a gift for the shower, was still a “wedding gift” only to find out on the Bee, in some circles they aren’t considered one in the same. I guess it depends on your circle. Unless your a close freinds I’m not gifting twice.
Generally I don’t care for showers and usually decline.
Post # 12
i would gift at both. i usually buy something in the lesser price range for the shower and give more at the wedding.
$30-50 shower and $100-150 wedding
Post # 13
From MY experiences and what I have learned throughout life, you gift at both. If you have a certain ‘gift budget’ (ie, we can only spend $100 on gifts for them), then you should split that up between shower and wedding gifts.
If you REALLY decide not to give something at the wedding, then PLEASE at least give them a card! Afterall, they are inviting you to a special party in their honor.
Post # 14
i think this is a regional/generational thing. around here (at least with my family) the older generation considers the shower gift to also be the wedding gift, while the younger guests give gifts at both.
i would probably give a gift for both.
Post # 15
@OldMrsMcDonald: I give a gift at both. I was very surprised at how many people came to the wedding without a gift. Even something small is fine!
Post # 16
The norm in my area is registry gift for the shower, cash for the wedding. I always gift for both no matter who it’s for