Shower Drama- Someone else is the host, but its at my house

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We keep frozen appetizers on hand just in case we have company unexpectedly or last minute. Maybe you could stock up on some of those and just pretend like you had them on hand? Then you could offer them and if people are hungry you could just pop them in the oven. Also, could you ask a bridesmaid or mom/aunt if they could bring an appetizer or cheese tray or something? That way it isn’t like you’re intruding on your friend hosting the party. I agree that there should be more than just chips and cake. Even if it’s not a full meal I would try to have some heavy appetizers there. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I might try and let them know via word of mouth that it’s a cake & punch party,  so they eat before they arrive. Just make sure you do it in a nice way so you don’t seem ungrateful.

Don’t supply food bc that will make her feel bad. She is nice enough to be doing this.

Post # 5
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@txbride1018:  She is the host but it’s YOUR day and I would politely insist upon more food of that’s what you want.   It’s also your house so why does it matter to her if people hang around?  I think if people are taking the time to drive several hours for your shower you should have more than chips and dip. 

Post # 6
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@txbride1018: That would rub me the wrong way. Do you have any family coming who could bring a dish or two with them when they come? It would just seem like they were being courteous guests rather than you taking control.

I’m confused about how she plans to have people leave right when the shower is over when it’s not at her place. Is that because she wants time to clean up or what?

Post # 7
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@txbride1018:  Your guests need to eat lunch if that what their pregnancy requires. That is well before 2 pm.

If you must, and after the stated shower time of 5 PM, offer those who might need it substantial snacks like sandwiches and a salad.

2 -5 does not require real food, don’t complicate the hosting effort of your bridesmaid during that time. If things are as you say only a FEW of your guests MAY need to eat. And there is no lack of road food.

I get that you would offer different food choices if your were the food-host. And you are right that the deal being held at your house is a bit complicating the hostess identify factor, but in the end–good god, people who need to eat will find a way, it’s not a big deal. Your statement that you “refuse” to let people leave hungry is an unnecessary line in the sand,and my personal opinion is that the average American is sledom really “hungry” let alone after having cake and punch and salty snacks. (Pregnant women are exempt from this characterization! )  🙂

Post # 8
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would have extra food. It’s a bit rude to have people over for a shower without something to nibble on. Especially if they are driving a distance and pregnant!

They are coming to your home with gifts for you, even if someone else is hosting, it will reflect poorly on you.

Post # 10
Member
11001 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am presuming that you also are a bridesmaid in this wedding and are not the bride.

Because this event is being held at your home, if I were you, I would provide some more substantial food offerings and simply inform the other hostess that you will be doing so.  She does not have the right to tell you that you cannot serve food to guests in your own home, even if she is the primary hostess of this event.

Post # 11
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Eh, if people have cake & punch weddings I don’t see what’s wrong with a cake & punch shower. I mean I’ve never been to one so I would just need to know to eat first.

Post # 12
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Brielle:  I don’t disagree with this, but I personally wouldn’t risk offending someone who is kind enough to throw me a party.

Post # 13
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m assuming you’re the bride. That’s what my posts are based on.

Post # 14
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@txbride1018:  hold it, point of clarification: are you bride or bridesmaid?

Post # 15
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Bubbles42:  But is the party for OP? It sounds like OP is a BM as well, which Brielle pointed out. If that’s the case and the party is not for OP, then I think it’s perfectly acceptable for her to step up and tell the host that she wants to chip in and provide some extra snacks. 

Post # 16
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yeah if she’s a bm I agree with Brielle.

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