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What about doing the shower 1 month before your destination wedding and therefore 7 months before your in-town reception. I agree its weird to have a shower when your already married, but if there are no better options then.....why not go for it.
If we did it 1 month before the destination wedding, do you think people would be offended since they're not invited to the wedding itself?
It is usually considered bad etiquette to invite people to a shower that are not invited to the wedding. But it isn't bad etiquette if those shower invitees are made aware ahead of time (usually by the one hosting the shower) that you are having a small wedding and therefore cannot invite everyone. And since you plan on inviting these shower guests to your at-home reception at a later date, then I think you'll be okay. As long as your mom explains the situation to them, you won't be breaking any etiquette rules by inviting people to your shower that are invited only to your at home reception. So go ahead and plan your shower for a month before the wedding. I think people will understand.
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I originally didn't think I would have a shower since we are having a small destination wedding, but my mom really wants to throw one! Now we need some help on deciding the best time to have it.
We are having a small destination wedding with only close family and friends, and an at home reception more than 6 months later. Most of the people who would be invited to the shower will be invited to the at home reception but not the destination wedding.
One option is to have the shower before the destination wedding (probably about a year before the at home reception). Is it ok to invite people to a shower when they're not invited to the wedding (but will definitely be invited to the reception the next year)? I think that's usually considered bad etiquette, but am not sure how it applies when there are 2 receptions.
My mom suggested a second option, holding the shower closer to the date of the at home reception. However, it feels a little awkward to me to have a "bridal shower" when we're already married (it's no secret that we're having the destination wedding) and I don't want it to seem like we're just trying to get a lot of gifts from people.
Any advice?