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I am an encore bride and have tried to disuade people from throwing me a shower too. Besides the fact that we are fairly settled into our apartment and don't need anything, I don't feel comfortable with one.
My mom suggested maybe a Bridal Tea or Lingerie party instead?
I would prefer a couples shower (I have another thread going about this right now) and so does FI. He is one of those rare ones that is really romantic and very into the wedding planning. We have registered for a few things, but would maybe do what Mrs. Spring suggested in my other thread - have a bbq type of party with just a couple of games and a "date night" theme not related to registry. I just don't want to offend the 3-4 people that gave me gifts before.
I have mixed feelings about this too... I'm the encore FI is a newbie, so he deserves all the excitement....
BUT I would feel funny asking someone to give gifts "again" like you said.
Maybe make it a BBQ honoring the 2 of you or a bunch just for you, without mention of registry. People who want to know will ask so they can buy gifts. Just leave it up to your MOH to "spread the word".
I like the compromise of a couples or date night "shower" get-together. We're both encores, and neither of us wanted showers. Luckily, no one has forced the issue for us.
The one suggestion that ALMOST swayed my FI? A "stock the bar" party...just a suggestion. That's a great base to have a cookout and a bottle of wine/liquor isn't so expensive that we would feel bad about people who had gifted us before.
Oh I like the idea of a stock the bar party!! You could have a cute cocktail theme!
My fi liked the lingerie shower idea, lol.
@WDWBride - Can you do a lingerie them with couples? I think I might be embarrassed. And the Moms might raise an eyebrow.
I do like the idea of a stock the bar party, too. We would love that and I think the guests would too. I'll talk to my MOH about all these ideas. Thanks!
I would do it with couples...Lol it wouldn't embarass me nor would my moh bat an eye...hahaha. The stock the bar idea is really cool though.
One encore couple I know did a theme party as well. They are big foodies and arranged for a cooking class for all of us taught by a local chef. We all brought kitchen/foodie type gifts (they made it clear to us those that had attended previous weddings were not to bring gifts, but we brought foodie items as small gifts, those that didn't know them during their first marriages brought more substantial kitchen gifts. It was a blast and a really great way to get all their friends mingling before the day.
sf_carrie - That's a great idea, too! I am very into cooking! We could even do baking or pastry. Yum.
We have our first shower this coming weekend-and we are both encores. It is a couples shower-UGA tailgate style-UGA awnings set up in the yard, everyone is bringing their bag chairs, tailgate food, papergoods are all red, black and white-it's going to be fun! Four girlfriends are hostessing it.
As far as registering goes-several of my friends who are encores themselves told me to "register Lisa bc people are going to want to buy you stuff and unless you want a whole lot of picture frames-register!" So we did-a honeymoon registry at honeyfund.com and also at Sears. The shower this weekend, they are doing a "gift tree"-red and black clothespins for clipping gift certificates, honeymoon registry vouchers and gift cards. I know that a couple people are getting us those restaurant gift cards-which is GREAT! I was very hesitant about registering at first, but it seems that everyone asks. We're also registered at our local Home Depot and we've already gotten several gift cards in the mail in wedding cards. :) I am really surprised at the gifts we have gotten. In a nice way!
Oh I forgot...we did a honeymoon registry too! That way if people want to get us stuff it's out there...not something we have shared with too many people though.
I am for a couple's shower and doing a honeymoon registry or if you haven't purchased a home together yet, maybe a down payment registry.
I would like to get a few cooking items (hello Williams Sonoma!) and some new everyday wear (there's a lenox pattern in white I adore..can't remember the name of it) and some new table linens.
I also love the idea of a couples' shower. We'll probably just have one. Make a fun cocktail party/shower. But the idea of registering for honeymoon stuff (see even WEddingbee has a honeymoon registry) is a great idea too! We might do that.
Or maybe some more of my fine china pattern. We're really set when it comes to that. I got all my sterling last Christmas from my aunt (20 place settings and all the completers..biggest gift I've ever gotten from a relative) and fine china is all there pretty much (Lenox Hancock) and T's got the Lenox Christmas pattern...all of it!
My daughter's having a destination wedding, and invited the 'girls' over so that those who didn't know each other could meet...there were no gifts involved. Another idea is to have a get-together, and ask people to give donations to charity in lieu of gifts.
I was worried about this as well, however I am in a bit different situation. I live in a completely different city now, and have a completely different set of friends (only a few remaining from first marriage). So, my friends are insistent on doing a shower, as well as registering. So, we've started a registry at BB&B for some upgrades on basics like towels & such. Plus, we are combining households, and now will have 5 people here, versus 2, so we're really in need of the additional towels, another set or two of sheets, and a few other basics.
I also have another set of girlfriends who are throwing a lingerie shower, which I think will be lots of fun!
I don't know if anyone would shower me; maybe people at work. I am not engaged yet so they haven't approached me about this. Whenever we celebrate someone's birthday outside work, it's a karaoke party. That would be fine with me. I don't really need/want gifts from them, especially because I won't be involving work people to our wedding.
could you have a shower with a specific theme? So you don't get things you already have?
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Ok. So my MOH insists that she is throwing us a shower and does not care about etiquette on this issue (no shower since I am encore bride). It's FI's 1st wedding and I am kind of sick of all the etiquette lessons about being an encore. Etiquette that is for the purpose of being kind and gracious to others is the only kind I worry about. Etiquette that is imposed based upon morality or religion does not concern me. That being said:
I have a friend who was a BM at my 1st wedding, which was a DW in the Caribbean and she had to pay for hotel, dress, etc. and then she also came to my reception 2 weeks later back home. There are also a couple of others that came to the reception from 1st wedding. Do I verbally say to them. "no gift expected from you"? How do you make it clear that I don't expect gifts from these people that already "showered" me at my first? Does MOH do it?