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Hmm, I don't think it's nice to ask for money, but I understand that you don't need the extra stuff...I'm not sure how to handle this. Maybe ask for gift cards? The money tree is cute but I just don't know if people will be offended...I know my family would be upset. Sorry girl :(
I usually give a gift for the shower and either money or a gift for the wedding. For the wedding itself you can discreetly spread the word about wanting cash, but for the shower, the point of it is to open up gifts and for the guests to get to watch. I would be offended if I were invited to a shower and suggested to get money. My relatives would be livid.
I KNOWWWWWW sux right...i would never really ask for money but i don't what to do!!!
I really don't have any suggestions. Bridal showers are ALL about opening gifts. You can manage to get cash for your wedding by not registering but showers are a completely different animal. It would never even cross my mind to give someone $ at a shower.
Maybe register somewhere that you can return everything for store credit?
Your options according to etiquette are to register for anything you do want or take a gamble and see what you get otherwise.
yeah, I don't think you can ask for cash at a shower. The whole point is for people to give you things that you can open. I've never been at a shower where someone has gotten money or even giftcards.
If you only want cash, I don't think you should be having a bridal shower. As the others said the whole point of a shower is to watch the bride opening gifts. There is no polite way to do this. I also would be REALLY offended if I was invited to a shower and it was even suggested that I should give money.
Showers are for tangible gifts - I really don't think there is any way around it! If you don't want tangible gifts I suggest not having a shower!
Sorry!
But if your shower registry is small (not much left over for the wedding) then that will encourage more monetary gifts at the wedding!
When I was a BM for my BF's wedding she lived far away and didn't really want tangible gifts because transport would be hard. So she listed that she was registered at a store but wasn't actually registered for anything. This resulted in a lot of Gift Cards for that store, gift cards for other stores, some random (hideous) gifts that she left at her parents house LOL, and a small amount of money! To give you an idea
Honestly, it is inappropriate to ask for cash as a wedding present. It would be even more so inappropriate to ask for cash as a shower gift. While some people give cash as wedding gifts, most if not all people give gifts at a shower since they are actually opened up in front of everyone. Traditionally, a shower is to shower the bride to be with her trousseau or goods for the house she will share with her husband to be....
As nice as it would be to recieve cash and I understand that you guys dont need anything else... but it's a gift. You cant dictate what you get. Its other people GIVING you someting... and while its ncie when people give you what you want. A gift is a gift and they arent obligated to give you anything.
I hate getting things I dont want or need but I realize that someone put thought in to it and they arent required to give me anything.. be it a shower, wedding, or birthday.
Good luck and I hope you have a lovely shower!
Yeah I'd skip on the shower if you only wanted monetary gifts. The point of the shower is to get physical presents before the actual wedding (so no one has to worry about transporting them to and from the wedding). At best register for some home accesories and you'll have to store things.
I agree with the other posters. The whole point of a shower is for the actual gifts. You can't ask or even hope to get any money at these. If you're looking for just money, your best bet would be to skip the shower altogether and hope people include more money in their wedding gifts to you.
Another vote for the fact that there's no elegant way to do this. The best you can do is register somewhere that you'd like store credit later. And tell the shower planner your dilemma. That way if anyone asks what to get you, they can be told. Otherwise, best to have a registry to catch the more traditional folks.
I agree with the PP's who said to forego the shower. If you register for smaller things at a Pottery Barn-type store and return them, you will have a problem when these people come to visit and look for their gifts in your house. Just skip it.
out of curiosity, what would you register for at a furniture store? just gift certificates? if i were attending a shower that only had couches and armchairs and other expensive furniture items on the registry, i'd be put off
cant skip the shower its already booked...what about registering at a furniture store...sound stupid?
we got tons of cash, and i've given cash for a wedding gift... but NEVER for a shower gift.. the shower gift to me should be more personal so good luck on getting cash for the shower... i would register because people will probably buy things any way and you might as well get things you want.. we owned our home for over a year before our wedding, but just registered for nicer versions of what we already had, serving dishes, knife set, dyson, wii games, gps... we didn't register for ANY decorations because people tend to look at what you registered for, and then find something they think is similar(which may not be the case).. so definately register, and be prepared to get some stuff you may or may not need or want
Honestly? I think you should register. I know you don't WANT to, but in this case I don't see any other way around it. People are going to give you tangible presents no matter what, don't you want a say in what they'll be? The other option is Great Aunt Edith picking out some 80's picture frame for you.
Isn't there ANYTHING you want to upgrade in your home? Bed set? Towels? Kitchen items?
yea i see the point .. ppl want to see you open presents.... im greatful for everything i would get... i just didnt want it to sit in storage...
@julieandjaiden: Encore had a double post so she edited it. If you have a shower, you probably gotta register for some tangible things that people can get you. How many people are invited? That will also inform the size of your registry.
BTW I know some people register for actual items and gift cards from stores like BB&B.
@heather25: prob 60 ppl .. i know im going to have to register for tangible gifts... which is fun.. i just have no idea what to register for that i dont already have. have you seen the honeymoon registry?
Yeh, but that's not a tangible registry so it won't do you any good for the shower. Do you want to upgrade things in your home? What about new electronics like TVs and DVDs. What about washers and dryers? Groups of people can go in together on big ticket items.
@heather25:its a good idea..maybe i should just register for everything i will need for the new house even though its 3 years away and just store it... i dont need anything in my apartment at all...target here i come...thanks for the advice bees
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So here's the deal,
I'm getting married next June, My Shower is booked for April 21st. Its a really nice shower open bar, tons of food etc..at the same venue as my wedding but the smaller room upstairs ( www.anthonysoceanview.com) obviously the majority of couple preffer cash but we allll know it's bad etiquette to ask...I found among all of the advice collumns and blogs that it's never polite to ask for money in any way shape or form...but a shower..hmmmm...we've been living together for 4 years by that time 5 years and don't plan on buying a house for 2 years after that so any appliances, decor, etc would be a waist of money and would sit in storage so what should i do..
I could register at like bobs discount furniture and hope for gift certificates....something like that..
or I could somehow come up with an inventive way to maybe send out house shaped invites...give them a little hint..
What I'm not going to do is register anywhere... I don't know I'm so stuck on this..believe me im all about being polite but we need the cash more then anything..
my aunt said she attended a shower that was themed some sort of way to creativly give money, so she had a small christmas tree and put the money on the branches and believe it or not it was a hit!
Please help and please don't tell me i should be happy with whatever I get bc i already know that..
Im a diy-er so i could come up with something cool i think...
thoughts??