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I'd get her some nice white towels or crystal champagne flutes and call it a day. Or a personal gift, like a gift certificate for a pedicure. It sounds like she is abusing the spirit of a bridal shower, its not meant to be a fundraiser for the wedding.
@serabell - shower is in 3 weeks, she's been talking about it forever..
@Jenni - Champagne flutes are always nice...maybe something she could use at the wedding.
Being in my mid 30s, I understand her challenge but still, 3 gifts? We're using our registry to upgrade much of our stuff. I like some of the Bee's ideas. A nice pottery vase is always good too and if she doesn't like it, it was her fault for not registering for more! lol!
just because she didn't register for gifts doesn't mean you can't give her one. There's no rule that you have to either buy off the registry or give cash. Crystal candle sticks are always nice and probably something she doesn't have. A nice personalize album for the honeymoon pictures is another nice one. there are a myriad of things she might not have that would make nice gifts.
@meowkers - I know I can get her something else, which I probably will...it's just much easier to go along with someone's particular style when they have registered for things. I've been to her place many times, I'm surprised she *didn't* register for certain things (i.e. she doesn't have a full set of everyday cutlery, just a mishmash of stuff from over the years).
@marlew - yeah i totally get it. it's a bummer that your friend is taking advantage of the situation.
She'd know what denomination you spent anyway as she put those items on the registry. I say get her a personal voucher, massage/ beauty treatment etc (maybe something she can use before the wedding?). Seems a bit silly to only put 3 things on a registy unless she was hoping that people would not want to purchase the items she registered for and give her money instead.
P.s. I know champagne flutes are a nice gift but I got 16 for my engagement!
I'm a 40-something bride. I've been with FI for 5 years and we've got most everything we need. I hadn't planned to register until friends convinced me it's actually a courtesy for guests (especially those who don't know us well). In creating our Macy's registry, we discovered that it's not hard to find things that need upgrading.
Although we combined two households into one, there's a lot we lack or have neglected to replace over the years: sheets, towels, blankets, wine and bar glasses, baking dishes, serving pieces, dish towels, pot holders, etc. And there are other "luxury" items (vases, trivets, cheese board + knife, "artsy" pieces) that we never thought to buy for ourselves.
I agree it's tacky for this bride to view the shower as a wedding fundraiser. That's not the point of a shower! A good idea for an older bride (besides items listed above) is a gourmet gadget, such as a pizza stone, pizza cutter and recipe book, that she's likely not to have but would enjoy. I suspect (from odd questions I've been asked) that my wedding party is planning a lingerie shower. Terry robes or a pretty nightgown are nice shower gift choices as well for those with an already-equipped household. Good luck!
I'm 37 and getting married for the first time. We pretty much upgraded our kitchen stuff on our registry and a few more unique items. But I would appreciate, if you didn't want to purchase something from the registry, a gift card from the store that I did register. I think it's better than just buying something off the cuff.
thanks for the input everyone :) I will take it all into consideration when I hit the shops this weekend!
I agree with the gift certificates or spa certificate. Who could say no to either of those?
if the shower is really soon, i agree with the suggestion to get a gift card from a store she's registered at. maybe wrap it up cute in some nice dish towels?
if its not, then you should tell her about depositagift.com she can create a cash gift registry in a cute way...maybe called 'newlywed activities' (to buy them gifts of time/experiences together) or if they want to buy new big decor items for the home it could be a 'home registry', or the usual, it could be a honeymoon registry. the nice thing is that it's a win-win for everyone...she'd get money, but the guests would have lots of price point options and could feel good about the gift b/c it's more personal. i read a post on their blog about how it works for showers....they have a gift cert that you can print at checkout to bring to the party.
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So I got invited to a shower for a friend of mine, she's in her early 40s, this is her first time getting married. She's lived on her own since she was a teen and with her FI for a couple years now. They have EVERYTHING.
She believes that showers should be like stag parties: it's all to make money to pay for the wedding. Where I'm from you don't give money at a shower. It's tacky. I had mentioned to her that she should register somewhere and she said she was going to.
Fast forward - I got the invite today with her registry info. So I login online and check out the registry: one item for $150 and 2 items for $12 each. ARE YOU KIDDING? a) I'm not close enough with her to spend $150 on an shower gift; and b) I don't really want to buy the chintzy 2 items she put down.
So I'm being forced to either give money, or a gift card when I don't really want her knowing the denomination I've spent.
Any thoughts on what to give this chicklet?