Post # 1
I watched my friend (and other friends) spend SO much time on her registry, researching the items to add, going to the store(s) to check them out, looking for which store(s) had the items at the lowest prices, etc.
This friend is VERY particular as to what she likes/doesn’t like.
For her bridal shower, a couple of good friends and I were planning on going in on the gift. However, one of our friends was intent on buying her something NOT on the registry. My personal opinion is, the Bride spent a lot of time picking the items she wanted. She picked out all the items herself – so why buy her something she didn’t pick out? May not even want?
This friend’s point was buying off the registry is not personal. I do get what she’s saying, but I still stand by buying off the registry.
Just wondering what you ladies think.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
I prefer the registry items, but I didn’t mind if someone wanted to go a little more personal. My stepmom gave about a million small gifts at the shower: christmas ornaments, a wedding memory book, a giant photo frame intended for people to sign at the wedding/rehearsal, toasting flutes, etc. THAT was a very thoughtful giant box of gifts and we didn’t register for a single one. I would definitely prefer that over a (assumed regifted) blender we didn’t register for because we already have one. Registry or thoughtful only, please! Don’t guess what houseware we “need” because we likely either already have one or will not use it.
Right before I clicked submit I forgot to add: If no party hosts specified lingerie gifts, it’s kinda uncomfortable to receive lingerie (thanks, 50+ year old friend-of-FI-family)… I know you think I am tiny with a perfect Victoria’s Secret figure, but when I am undressed, I assure you these supportless teddies just look downright sad. Stick to a gift card, maybe a VS lotion, and a *wink* if you must “get” me something like that.
Post # 4
@MangoSong: I’ll get flamed for being unappreciative, but I absolutely hate when people buy gifts not on the registry. I spent time picking out very specific things that we want and need for our home. I don’t care if you like the item, I like the item and that’s all that should matter. I hate when guests want to make the gift about them and refuse to buy from the registry. If you really want to make me happy, buy what I have asked for.
Post # 5
@TattedNYBride: I don’t see why you would get flamed for that. As a guest, I agree with you 100%, which is why I try and stick with the registry.
Post # 7
I agree that I prefer items on the registry. It’s obvious those are the things we need and we picked them out, so it’s our taste and style. I don’t mind gift cards if they are to usable locations for the home (like Home Depot or Macy’s). I don’t get offended if someone doesn’t buy from the registry – I can always regift it. 🙂
Post # 8
I think it’s OK for the bridal party to go off the registry. My best friend is super picky and I made them a honeymoon basket: beach towel with small monogram, wine, engraved wine glasses, massage oil & flip flops. But if I could do it again I would go off the registry. I have a feeling she didn’t like the towel.
Post # 9
I would prefer gifts from the registry but do appreciate any gifts. We got a couple of things not on the registry that were great such as an engraving of our invite and an awesome personalized frame. However, we also got some plastic dishes and Pyrex that I have no idea what to do with. We already have a really nice set of plastic dishes to use outside and tons of Pyrex.I feel terrible about donating them since someone picked them out for us but I really don’t want to store stuff we will never use.
I personally feel that if you are going to go off the registry you should aim for something unique that you KNOW they do not have so they don’t need to figure out how to return it or feel bad about donating it. I personally stick to registries and personalize it by making the card.
Post # 10
I assumed that there would be at least one person who would venture from the registry, but it didn’t bother me a whole lot. Thankfully no one got us decorative-type things that were their own personal taste.
Post # 11
To make a long story short, one ENTIRE side of my family refused to go to my already planned, scheduled, and paid for bridal shower because they wanted to “have their own” for me (among other reasons). Then, I received nothing but complaints from said family members that the store I registered at was “too far away” and no one wanted to drive that far (it was 20 minutes away). So, more than half of the gifts I received weren’t from my registry. /: And DH and I spent FOUR HOURS of a Saturday registering. Kind of a waste of time.
So, yes, I prefer to get and give gifts from registries. However, I will always get an extra non-registry gift for people. For example, friends are getting married in August and they’re getting a blender (from their registry) and an engraved photo album for their wedding pictures (non-registry). Typically, I’d spend more on gifts, but this is a destination wedding and we’re part of the wedding party and are paying for a hotel stay, my dress, his tux, etc.
Post # 12
I agree with tattednybride. As further bride myself, I have spent a lot of time Making my registries. I only put the necessities on them. I honestly don’t see the poima’am ongoing a registry when people don’t buy from it. The registry basically tells you what the new couple needs. If you get them something that’s not on the registry, most likely the couple with either return it or use it as a re-gift. I already know a few people who are invited to my shower who are going to actually make their gifts! And these people are actually giving me decorations for holidays! I don’t decorate! Not to be ungrateful, but its just dumb. Unless you know someone and I mean REALLY know someone, just stick to the registry. The couple will appreciate it.
Post # 13
While I thought I only wanted registry gifts, I received a few things I never thought of at the shower and wedding that were really great, like a cute picnic basket cooler for two (with plates and napkins and all). My MIL also got us our champagne toasting glasses that we got at the wedding, though I would have liked to have picked ones out myself. Certain “extra” things I think are fine off the registry, just not any basic stuff the bride might want to pick out herself (like plates, cookware, etc).
Post # 14
I preferred people stuck to the registry, but we got a few non-registry gifts that were AWESOME (most notably, board games that we didn’t necessarily register for, but since the person saw some board games on our registry she got us a couple we did register for then a couple she had that she and her friends and family enjoyed that we hadn’t thought of).
We got a couple left-field gifts that were actually really annoying because they were display items (stuff you’d hang on a wall) that are totally not our style, but are obviously very expensive. We felt guilty not hanging them, so we hung them, but neither of us likes them and we kind of can’t wait til we have a different house and can hide them in a kid’s bedroom or something. We also had one family member on DH’s side who started us on this Lennox serving set like three years ago for Christmas and insisted on completing it for our wedding, even though for three years she’s asked me if I liked it and why I don’t use it and for three years I’ve told her that it’s lovely and all but I have no use for fancy serveware like that. She completed the set for our wedding and DH won’t let me return it all so it’s sitting in our attic, it’s never seen the light of day. I feel bad, because it’s probably worth nearly $1000 altogether, but I just don’t ever feel like cleaning freakin’ silver so I honestly don’t think I’ll ever, ever use it.
Post # 15
I got a lot of off registry gifts, some I loved, others were returned, and were a pain to do so.
From now on, I am only going off registry if I know the couple well, and it is something they couldn’t have registered for. (Like I would never buy someone off registry pyrex, because if they wanted it, it would have been registered for)
We did have 3 seperate people buy us a pyrex container with a travel bag. Funny thing, when we tried to return them the store said they couldn’t take them back because they were a black Friday special, meaning the people we got them from bought them before we were even engaged and just had a pile of these things sitting around. We kept 1, but are still unsure what to do with the other 2 since they can’t be returned.
Post # 16
DH and I are type-A control freaks so we always shop from people’s registries AND we really only want stuff that showed up on our registry (aside from cash). For our wedding registry, we spent a lot of time carefully thinking about what our needs are and what vibe we are setting for our home. Since we had been living together for a long time, we wanted investment/heirloom/long-term pieces, not throwaway things we’re going to outgrow.
In addition, by buying something from their registry, you are guaranteed that they will love it and it’s something they will keep. If you go off-registry, there’s a chance they’re going to hate it and return/regift it.