Post # 1
This may be a silly question but there honestly hasn’t been too many weddings within my family.
To the best of my knowlege, you receive gifts at the shower and also at the wedding. Is there a difference in the gifts between each event or the people who give you the gifts?
I wouldn’t want people to feel obligated to give two gifts and neither do I wish to receive five toasters.
If someone could give some clarity I’d apprecite it :).
Post # 3
Yes, guests who are invited to the shower bring a shower gift. Then, those guests also bring a wedding gift. Not all guests are invited to the shower and not all guests are invited to the wedding. But, those guests that are invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding. You won’t get 5 toasters if you do a wedding registry.
Post # 4
We’re having about 100 ppl we’ll be inviting to the wedding, while the shower guest list will be much smaller. (Haven’t made a list, yet, but it’ll be around 10-ish, I’m guessing?) Those invited to the shower MUST be invited to the wedding, but you will not invite all wedding guests to the shower.
To prevent duplicates, make a registry!! And check it frequently, make sure you still have gifts available 🙂 Nobody wants 5 toasters!
Post # 5
I’m so confused by this also…. I feel terrible “expecting” people who gave gifts at the shower to give gifts at the wedding also! I just don’t quite understand the difference between gifts I guess…
Post # 6
As a many times over wedding and shower guest I expect the double gift clause. For bridal showers I limit the amount to $50 unless it is a close family/friend. I always buy off registry for the shower gift. For the wedding I always give a check. $150 for everyone, $200 for close friends/family.
Don’t feel bad about two gifts. If they don’t want to give two they don’t have to come to the shower. And this is why the shower is thrown by a non-family member, so it doesn’t look like a greedy, gift hungry family.
Post # 7
This might mean I’ve always done the wrong thing (I haven’t been to too many weddings either), but I’ve most often purchased one “bigger” gift for the bride and groom and given it at the shower. My reasoning was that it’d be easier to manage the gifts at the shower, versus at a reception venue.
But… it’s also entirely possible I’ve been the subject of a bad etiquette post. 😀
Post # 8
They both come from the same registry. Many people do not make it to the shower at all, but they will buy something from your registry to bring to your wedding.
As far as registries go, once something has been purchased, it is taken off the registry so that no one else buys it. However, if someone decides to not buy off the registry and shop elsewhere, then you risk getting multiples. Also, the registry is simply a wish-list so don’t be offended if someone gets you something you didn’t ask for that they think you’d appreciate.
Post # 9
from my own shower and wedding, at the shower i recieved items for our home and for the wedding we recieved mainly money. I thought it was odd but i had people calling that went to the shower caling to see if they have to bring a gift to the wedding too??WTF. what was i supposed to say, i told them of course not but who does that??? so NO dont feel guilty !