Post # 1
I know I’ve seen a few posts about this but I can’t seem to locate them right now.
My BM’s are hosting a bridal shower in my hometown. They are asking for a guest list and my mother and I are at odds over this. I included my side of the family and his mom and aunts. There are other people from his side of the family (great aunts, cousins, etc) that are invited to the wedding but I did not include them on the guest list. My mom says that I need to include them all, I disagree. I barely know some of these people and do not want anyone to feel like I am inviting them just because or to get a gift out of it. That’s not what I want at all.
I have asked my FI and he’s no help, he says he doesn’t know. His parents have little interest in the wedding. FI isn’t close to his parents so I semi understand the lack of interest. I am just grateful that they will be there.
I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by inviting them, but I don’t want to make people feel weird that I don’t know and invite them.
Post # 3
If it were me- I probably wouldn’t invite them. I’ve heard that showers are mainly with close friends and family. If you don’t feel comfortable inviting them, then don’t. It’s your shower!
Post # 4
Can you call your FMIL and ask? Maybe this will give you an opportunity to include her in your planning and bring you closer together?
Post # 5
I agree with Jeska June20…invite whoever you’d like! We have a huge family and a pretty big guest list, but I think we’re going to have a small shower and not invite everyone who’s invited to the wedding. This might be against the grain of etiquette, but it’s best for us so we’re doing it anyway.
Post # 6
It sounds like you are right on track. Showers are supposed to be small. They are not intended to be a second invitation for everyone going to the wedding. The etiquette is to invite everyone from the shower to the wedding. (Not everyone from the wedding to the shower.) The numbers should be around 40 ppl.
With that said, I also agree that maybe asking his family, if you care to, is a good idea. It seems as though some families (maybe regional, maybe cultural) have everyone at their showers. It sounds like some posters on these threads fear not being invited to a shower would be insulting. If that is the case in his family, you could find that out. But honestly, since you’re the bride, I don’t think they will be as offended, being on the groom’s side.