Post # 1
I’m making my list of shower guests and had a couple questions. Do out of town family get courtesy invites? A lot of my close family lives out of town and I don’t expect them to come to the shower but should I at least send an invite to let them know we wish they were here or is it unnecessary? Also we’re only having family children at the wedding, but is it okay to invite other children to the shower with their parents even if the kids aren’t invited to the wedding (we sent STDs addressed to the parents only so hopefully they’ll know). Thanks!
Post # 4
@MrsN14: I know the posron who hosted my shower sent them to all the women in my family, no matter where they lived! But I know other people see it as gift-grabby. So it’s really your judgement!
As for kids, I wouldn’t put their names on the invites, but if it’s convienent for your guests to bring their kids and you’re okay with that, I don’t see the issue!
Post # 5
How many people with children are you inviting? I would put their names on the shower invites but not the kids’ names on the wedding invites, and just follow up with the guests as they RSVP to make sure they understand. Don’t send invites to anyone who’s already told you they can’t come, since it looks like fishing for presents. But you can let them know you wish they could come in other ways (like a nice letter).
Post # 6
@MrsN14: I/my sister invited all of the women on my side, regardless of where they live. I didn’t want anyone to feel left out.
Post # 7
i just invite any relatives close (within a hour) and bridal party and some other close friends. i dont see a point in having too many people involved. Also i didnt want to send a “courtesy invite” so they felt like they had to send a gift even though i knew they wouldn’t come.
Post # 8
My sister, who is hosting my shower, sent invites to my future mother and sister in law. They live in Arkansas and we knew they wouldn’t be able to make it, so she included a hand written note saying something about how she wanted them to feel included and be there in spirit or something like that. It went over well with them.
Post # 9
We will invite all of the women in my family. My one cousin lives about 1500 miles away, so I’m sure she won’t make it, (unless she happens to be in town for work for training) and another two wives of my cousins live about 5 hours away, so I don’t expect them to come, either. If they do, it will be a fun surprise!
I don’t want anyone to feel left out, but I also don’t expect a gift from anyone unable to attend.
Post # 10
@MrsN14: Generally, you only invite people who are within an easy drive of the shower location. I’m inviting some family that might make the trip – some of my fiance’s family lives really far away but come back home at the drop of a hat, and I have some retired Aunts who might line up the shower with a trip to see their grandkids. I wouldn’t invite anyone who would be extremely unlikely to come (like cousins that are far away) unless they might feel insulted. I also wouldn’t anyone that isn’t invited to the wedding – including kids. An exception is if the parents asked/assumed they could come – but I would politely make it clear that they were allowed at the shower, but not necessarily invited to the wedding.
Post # 11
@MrsN14: my bridesmaids, mother, & FMIL are throwing me one large shower, and told me to invite all of the women (family and friends) who are invited to the wedding. that number is 49! geez. but one party, one shot – and done!
Post # 12
@blankenshiptobe: I have well over 50 people on my just close family and friends list. If I invited every women coming to the wedding I’d have over 170 people! Some of whom I’ve never met. But I could see with a smaller wedding like under 125 people itd be reasonable to invite everyone. Thanks!
Post # 12
I would assume only friends/family that live close (in town, or within a few hours away) would be invited. My fiance has family that lives, at the most, 45 minutes away, whereas I have family that lives a little over 3 hours, at the most. This goes for some friends though too. I think it would be polite to invite them, and if they cannot make it – no biggie.
However, I know a lot of people, depending on who is hosting it, will have it the same day as the bachelorette party so those family/friends coming from out of town can go to both events.
Post # 13
I would invite them if you feel close to them. My shower is tomorrow! and we actually had more people than we thought RSVP. We sent out 45 invitations and only expect 15 or 16 to come because a lot of our family lives far away. We were surprised that several of them decided to travel for the shower and we have almost 30 guests attending. Even the guests who were not able to make it were really happy that we thought of them and sent an invite.
Post # 14
We plan to invite all the females.. for instance, I know FMIL won’t be able to make it, but I don’t want her to feel excluded.