Weddingbee boards

It is definitely rude to RSVP that you'll be attending an event, then not show at all.  You can give a little more latitude to the people who at least notified you via email that they wouldn't be coming.

However, keep in mind that the majority of parties that people are invited to rarely require RSVPs, so people usually have a more casual mindset.  If they flake on a backyard b-day party, it's usually not that big of a deal.  They don't really get that when you actually do give a response, people expect you to stick with for party-planning reasons like food, etc..

I really did have an appreciation for RSVPs after I went through my own wedding planning.  Before that, I was one of those casual-minded people.  Try not to take it too personally that they flaked out on you.

It's really easy to think that you just aren't that important to them.  But it's usually not the case, life just happens and as much as we'd like everyone to stop and focus on us during our wedding activities, it doesn't happen that way!  You had a great shower with good friends, and your wedding will be all that more fun, so focus on that.

I say definalty before the wedding.  You should also get your thank you notes out within 2 weeks.

 My shower was 3 weeks ago and we love our new set of plates!  My fiance cleaned the carpet this weekend with our new carpet cleaner!  I got a lot of gift cards and cash and we are going to use it to buy new clothes for our honeymoon.

I totally think you can use the gifts now and you don't have to wait until after the wedding.  If they bought it and gave it to you, what's the point of having it sit in the box?  It's money spent, and they want you to enjoy it.

Agree with Candi1024, send your thank you notes out promptly.  I love getting a thank you note where the bride says she loved my gift so much, she already used it to make XXX.  Makes it more personal and I feel like she really liked the gift!