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If this is a shower where people are bringing presents, you should definitely be feeding people something. The bachelorette is where it's fine to ask people to buy their own food/drinks (and usually for the bride as well), but not a shower.
If people will be bringing gifts i dont think people should be expected to pay for their own food.
Yeah, I find this rude too. I'm usually not a stickler for rules and stuff, but if I new I was invited to a shower that I had to pay my own meal I wouldn't go unless it was for a sister, anyone else, No Way!
Were they planning on writing it in the invitation? Because what if someone didn't have enough money on them since they didn't plan on paying for their own meal. That would be even worse. Very embarrassing/awkard situation.
Did she specifically say that she wanted the guests to pay? I've been to quite a few showers that were held at restaurants and the guests were never expected to pay.
Regardless, it's never okay to host a party and not provide food and beverage to your guests. I would be kind of appalled , actually.
That's extremely rude. You may as well just ask the guests to plan the shower themselves. If you're really strapped for cash, can you have it at someone's home so you don't have to pay for a venue? Like in the movie Bridesmaids :) [Although I don't have ANY friends with a home that big]
@Diana R.: My favorite kind of a shower is an at home shower. There's so much more freedom to get creative and really do what you want to do rather than follow a venues rules and work within their limitations.
My bridal shower was at my aunts house and it couldn't have possibly been any better. My girls went a little crazy but at home showers can certainly be done on a smaller budget.
ETA: Here's a link to my bridal shower recap (sorry, I'd make it pretty but I'm on my iPad)...
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/in-one-word-incredible-my-surprise-bridal-shower
@UpstateCait: Wow your bridal shower looked amazing!! You're so lucky to have such creative and awesome friends.
I threw my MOH her shower with her new cousin a few years ago. I was in school, and didn't have much money, so we had it at her aunt's house, and had a recipe shower. We asked everyone to bring their favourite recipe and make it so we all could try it. No one complained, and we had a nice array of food, also, she ended up with a bunch of new recipes
. We sent out fancy recipe cards with the invites so they would all match and gave her a new box for them all.
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Hey Fellow Bees,
My bestie's wedding in March 10th, so I along with our other two best friends decided to be in charge of her shower in February. My idea was to rent a private suite and throw a shower where the first half is conservative and tasteful, a bridal shower, while the other half is a bachelorette party. We'll be doing that after the older folks leave.
Well my other friends feel that would be too expensive, and that we should go to a restaurant and have it. My only problem is that I don't feel right asking someone to come to a bridal shower and making them pay for their own food. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I know for my shower she'll go all out and I want to do the same for her! After all, this IS my bestie that's been there for me from the beginning.
What should I do?