Weddingbee boards

Yikes, I'd have to agree with you.  It sounds a little more like and engagement party.  Also, if it is honoring both of you, is it a Jack and Jill party?  It sounds like both guys and girls are coming.  But maybe the invitations were clear it was just the gals being invited (if that is the case.)  Also, does it have registry information on it?  If so, it might clue people in that it really is a shower.

Well, how many are invited.  Typically, etiquette would say a shower is no more than 40 people.  If this is the case, I would say, you could get away with having someone (not you) make some phone calls to straighten it out.  In fact I might be inclined to do this, even if you have a larger party.  Do you think that it owuld hurt your friend's feeling to point this out?  I don't know your relationship to the attendees, but I bet you could have other BMs, your mom, etc. just call around to "double check" on people and make sure everyone is on the same page, without stepping on the host's toes.