Post # 1
Dilemma — I apologize in advance for the detail below…
My future sister-in-law and mother-in-law want to throw me a shower in their hometown. I’m thrilled to have it and be there – but I have a problem with trying to figure out who should be invited. Our wedding isn’t “small” – we’re having about 175 people. But of those that are invited – 80% are family members (aunts/uncles/cousins).
My Future Mother-In-Law originally wanted to invite all of her neighbors, co-workers, etc. but we were not able to do so because I insisted that we invite family first – then if we hear they aren’t coming we can then invite these other people. Yes – a “B list” – another faux pas. So as of now they really are not on the invite list.
Additionally, I have quite a few distant relatives that live in this same hometown. I’ve invited a few of my great uncles/aunts because we have a closer relationship. So they could be invited. However their children (my parent’s cousins) also live in this town and they would hear about the shower from their parents…but then they wouldn’t be invited…etc.
Again – I apologize for the crazy detail – but any thoughts/ideas would be appreciated!!!
Post # 3
Just a quick add: I know there are other posts similar to this, however, I felt this situation might be a little different because I can’t claim that we’re having a super small wedding. 175 isn’t necessary the small destination weddings that usually bring up this type of situation.
Post # 4
I would only invite those family members and friends that are invited to the wedding. Friends and co-workers can always be added later, once you see what kind of response you get.
Are the cousins not being invited to the wedding? If that’s the case, I wouldn’t invite them to the shower.
Post # 5
I agree, stick to those invited to the wedding. Are your FMIL’s co-workers coming to the wedding? If not, it sounds like she wants to have a party and you getting married is the theme. If she wants to have a party celebrating her son getting married I suggest taking “shower” out of the title, and invite anyone she wants…. And I don’t think her having a party like that is bad or wrong, but it really isn’t a shower, maybe a late engagement party. It sounds like she is excited about the wedding. But if it really is a shower, only people invited to the wedding should be invited. I wouldn’t make a B list either, people talk about this and if I knew I got an invite a month after someone else I would be offended.